This week in TONY'S TIPS at Tales of Wonder...The League of Regrettable Superheroes...I Am Lucille Ball by Brad Meltzer and Chris Eliopoulos...and Conan/Red Sonja!
Monday, August 31, 2015
Monday, August 24, 2015
TONY'S TIPS #122
This week in TONY'S TIPS at Tales of Wonder...I review Star Wars by Jason Aaron and John Cassaday, Rutu Modan’s Exit Wound and Batman: The Jiro Kuwata Batmanga Vol. 1.
Friday, August 21, 2015
WHERE'S TONY?
Well...
At the moment, I'm at home working on all sorts of exciting projects. However, from time to time, I am released from my labors and appear at comics and other conventions. This is my tentative and by no means complete schedule of upcoming appearances. Not all of these appearances are 100% locked down, but I'm confident all will happen.
Saturday, October 3: Teddy Hanes show in Rochester
Sunday, October 4: Teddy Hanes show in Buffalo
Friday, October 16: Grand Rapids Comic-Con
Saturday, October 17: Grand Rapids Comic-Con
Sunday, October 18: Grand Rapids Comic-Con
Saturday, October 24: Cleveland Comic Con
Saturday, November 7: Akron Comic Con
Sunday, November 8: Akron Comic Con
Saturday, November 21: Ohio History Connection (Columbus)
Friday, February 19: Pensacon (Florida)
Saturday, February 20: Pensacon (Florida)
Sunday, February 21: Pensacon (Florida)
Saturday, April 16, 2016: Fantasticon (Toledo)
Saturday, April 17, 2016: Fantasticon (Toledo)
Friday, July 22, 2016: Monsterfestmania (Akron)
Saturday, July 23, 2016: Monsterfestmania (Akron)
Sunday, October 4: Teddy Hanes show in Buffalo
Friday, October 16: Grand Rapids Comic-Con
Saturday, October 17: Grand Rapids Comic-Con
Sunday, October 18: Grand Rapids Comic-Con
Saturday, October 24: Cleveland Comic Con
Saturday, November 7: Akron Comic Con
Sunday, November 8: Akron Comic Con
Saturday, November 21: Ohio History Connection (Columbus)
Friday, February 19: Pensacon (Florida)
Saturday, February 20: Pensacon (Florida)
Sunday, February 21: Pensacon (Florida)
Saturday, April 16, 2016: Fantasticon (Toledo)
Saturday, April 17, 2016: Fantasticon (Toledo)
Friday, July 22, 2016: Monsterfestmania (Akron)
Saturday, July 23, 2016: Monsterfestmania (Akron)
If you're a promoter who would like me to appear at your event...and you're able and willing to cover my expenses...e-mail me. I'll do my best to accommodate you.
Monday, August 17, 2015
TONY'S TIPS #121
This week in TONY'S TIPS at Tales of Wonder: Monster Mash, Creepy Presents Alex Toth and Nickelodeon Magazine.
Wednesday, August 12, 2015
HEADING TO PULPFEST
This is just a quick reminder. I will be attending PulpFest 2015 in Columbus this weekend. With lots to do before I leave on Thursday and lots of organizational stuff to manage when I get back home to Medina. I'll be offline until sometime Monday or maybe even Tuesday. Stay well and a have a great weekend.
Tuesday, August 11, 2015
TONY'S TIPS #120
This week in TONY'S TIPS at Tales of Wonder...The Incredible Herb Trimpe, Archie #666 and Batman Earth One Volume Two.
Monday, August 10, 2015
MISCELLANEOUS FROM MEDINA
Jon Stewart has completed his 16-year-plus run on The Daily Show. I watched the finale with my son Eddie and, even during the show, I struggled with finding the words to describe what Stewart and the show meant to me. Here’s the best I can offer.
I was not a regular viewer of The Daily Show at first. I’d watch it from time to time. I couldn’t tell you when, but, sometime within Jon’s first year, I realized TDS had become the most indispensable program on television. I don’t think I’ve missed more than five or six episodes in the past fifteen years.
When my rage at the world of Fox News and Rush Limbaugh and stolen elections and a President who lied us into a war and more would make my blood pressure rise to dangerous levels, Jon and his crew would talk me down from the abyss. Their humor and canny perceptions were my shield against the bullshit and the evil.
If Jon weren’t comedic/satirical genius enough, he shared his show with some of the most talented performers I've ever seen. Stephen Colbert. Steve Carell. Larry Wilmore. John Oliver. Lewis Black. Rob Riggle. Samantha Bee. Jessica Williams. Rob Cordrey. Jason Jones, who doesn’t know this but who is the personification of a character I am creating with the hope it become successful enough that I can hire him to play it. Jon Hodgman. Kristen Schaal. Oh, hell, almost all of them. On my bucket list of things I want to write before I kick the bucket is a screenplay that would star as many of them as I could get.
Jon could take the bullshit of terrible people and make me laugh at it. When the bullshit got too big, he pooper-scooped it away with wit and wisdom. When the worst things happened, he expressed the sadness in ways that brought us together.
At the end of sixteen years and change, Jon Stewart emerges as one of the finest citizens of the United States and the world. He has been a force for decency, hope and involvement. And he leaves the program by reminding us of our responsibility to speak out against bullshit and evil. Like gladiators in a Roman arena, we must be as one in working and laughing our way to a better world.
“I am Jon Stewart” comes the first voice from the gladiatorial arena, followed by a second and a third and so many more than we can see the fear on the faces of the rich and the powerful. Even in their arrogance, their supreme arrogance, they know they are heading for the dustbin of history. I am Jon Stewart. We are Jon Stewart.
Thank you, Jon. By the way, sorry for the hyperbole. I do realize you’re not dead.
******************************
Briefly noted: Attila [2013].
Here’s the basic plot:
When American soldiers uncover Attila the Hun's staff of power, the wrath of his son is awakened. The mummified warrior comes to life, slaughtering anyone who gets between him and the staff.
This is the weakest films I’ve ever seen from The Asylum, which is tied with Disney/Marvel as my favorite company. It was co-written by Anthony C. Ferrante, who directs the Sharknado movies, but it has none of the, well, anything, to be found in those amusing films. Bad acting, horrible special effects, even the sets are poorly lit. Give this one a pass.
******************************
Briefly noted: Invisible Invaders (1959).
This was one of the movies which aired on Turner Classic Movies on its special Alien Invaders Night. Here’s the basic plot:
Aliens, contacting scientist Adam Penner, inform him that they have been on the moon for twenty thousand years, undetected due to their invisibility, and have now decided to annihilate humanity unless all the nations of earth surrender immediately. Sequestered in an impregnable laboratory trying to find the aliens' weakness, Penner, his daughter, a no-nonsense army major and a squeamish scientist are attacked from outside by the aliens, who have occupied the bodies of the recently deceased.
This is an entertaining low-budget film. Though most of the special effects are stock footage from military training films and such, it makes good use of them. The scenes convey the destruction happening around the world.
John Agar is terrific as a tough-as-nail major assigned to protect a trio of scientists. Jean Byron is smoking as the daughter of the oldest scientist. Philip Tonge plays her father, bringing a spiffy combination of determination and exhaustion to his character. The stand-out is Robert Hutton as a must-be-bipolar scientist who goes all over the emotional map in the movie, even putting the group in jeopardy when he gives into despair and terror.
Definitely worth watching.
******************************
Briefly noted: What Pet Should I Get? By Dr. Seuss
This is the “recently discovered” new book from Seuss and it’s easy to see why he put it aside. It’s a clever idea that never actually comes together. The wordplay is not as sharp as what we’ve come to expect from Seuss. There are pages and verse that fall flat. Worst of all, the ending is unsatisfying and not merely because the book ends with the reader having to guess which pet the child stars of the book select.
I do not know if Seuss was okay with the publication of this or any other posthumous work. I haven’t even figured out how I feel about this for my own work. On the one hand, I think there are some fine fragments and notes and notions and plots in my files. On the other hand, would they still be my work if I don’t finish them? If I had to make a decision today, I would ask Bob Ingersoll to go through the stuff with my son Eddie and let them figure out on some case by case basis.
Anyway...there are plenty of other Seuss books completed during his life. Read those to your kids and skip this one.
I’ll be back sometime next week with more stuff.
© 2015 Tony Isabella
I was not a regular viewer of The Daily Show at first. I’d watch it from time to time. I couldn’t tell you when, but, sometime within Jon’s first year, I realized TDS had become the most indispensable program on television. I don’t think I’ve missed more than five or six episodes in the past fifteen years.
When my rage at the world of Fox News and Rush Limbaugh and stolen elections and a President who lied us into a war and more would make my blood pressure rise to dangerous levels, Jon and his crew would talk me down from the abyss. Their humor and canny perceptions were my shield against the bullshit and the evil.
If Jon weren’t comedic/satirical genius enough, he shared his show with some of the most talented performers I've ever seen. Stephen Colbert. Steve Carell. Larry Wilmore. John Oliver. Lewis Black. Rob Riggle. Samantha Bee. Jessica Williams. Rob Cordrey. Jason Jones, who doesn’t know this but who is the personification of a character I am creating with the hope it become successful enough that I can hire him to play it. Jon Hodgman. Kristen Schaal. Oh, hell, almost all of them. On my bucket list of things I want to write before I kick the bucket is a screenplay that would star as many of them as I could get.
Jon could take the bullshit of terrible people and make me laugh at it. When the bullshit got too big, he pooper-scooped it away with wit and wisdom. When the worst things happened, he expressed the sadness in ways that brought us together.
At the end of sixteen years and change, Jon Stewart emerges as one of the finest citizens of the United States and the world. He has been a force for decency, hope and involvement. And he leaves the program by reminding us of our responsibility to speak out against bullshit and evil. Like gladiators in a Roman arena, we must be as one in working and laughing our way to a better world.
“I am Jon Stewart” comes the first voice from the gladiatorial arena, followed by a second and a third and so many more than we can see the fear on the faces of the rich and the powerful. Even in their arrogance, their supreme arrogance, they know they are heading for the dustbin of history. I am Jon Stewart. We are Jon Stewart.
Thank you, Jon. By the way, sorry for the hyperbole. I do realize you’re not dead.
******************************
Briefly noted: Attila [2013].
Here’s the basic plot:
When American soldiers uncover Attila the Hun's staff of power, the wrath of his son is awakened. The mummified warrior comes to life, slaughtering anyone who gets between him and the staff.
This is the weakest films I’ve ever seen from The Asylum, which is tied with Disney/Marvel as my favorite company. It was co-written by Anthony C. Ferrante, who directs the Sharknado movies, but it has none of the, well, anything, to be found in those amusing films. Bad acting, horrible special effects, even the sets are poorly lit. Give this one a pass.
******************************
Briefly noted: Invisible Invaders (1959).
This was one of the movies which aired on Turner Classic Movies on its special Alien Invaders Night. Here’s the basic plot:
Aliens, contacting scientist Adam Penner, inform him that they have been on the moon for twenty thousand years, undetected due to their invisibility, and have now decided to annihilate humanity unless all the nations of earth surrender immediately. Sequestered in an impregnable laboratory trying to find the aliens' weakness, Penner, his daughter, a no-nonsense army major and a squeamish scientist are attacked from outside by the aliens, who have occupied the bodies of the recently deceased.
This is an entertaining low-budget film. Though most of the special effects are stock footage from military training films and such, it makes good use of them. The scenes convey the destruction happening around the world.
John Agar is terrific as a tough-as-nail major assigned to protect a trio of scientists. Jean Byron is smoking as the daughter of the oldest scientist. Philip Tonge plays her father, bringing a spiffy combination of determination and exhaustion to his character. The stand-out is Robert Hutton as a must-be-bipolar scientist who goes all over the emotional map in the movie, even putting the group in jeopardy when he gives into despair and terror.
Definitely worth watching.
******************************
Briefly noted: What Pet Should I Get? By Dr. Seuss
This is the “recently discovered” new book from Seuss and it’s easy to see why he put it aside. It’s a clever idea that never actually comes together. The wordplay is not as sharp as what we’ve come to expect from Seuss. There are pages and verse that fall flat. Worst of all, the ending is unsatisfying and not merely because the book ends with the reader having to guess which pet the child stars of the book select.
I do not know if Seuss was okay with the publication of this or any other posthumous work. I haven’t even figured out how I feel about this for my own work. On the one hand, I think there are some fine fragments and notes and notions and plots in my files. On the other hand, would they still be my work if I don’t finish them? If I had to make a decision today, I would ask Bob Ingersoll to go through the stuff with my son Eddie and let them figure out on some case by case basis.
Anyway...there are plenty of other Seuss books completed during his life. Read those to your kids and skip this one.
I’ll be back sometime next week with more stuff.
© 2015 Tony Isabella
Sunday, August 9, 2015
PRELUDE TO PULPFEST
PulpFest 2015 is Thursday, August 13 through Sunday, August 16, at the Hyatt Regency Columbus in Columbus, Ohio. It’s a fun gathering for fans of pulp magazines and more. There is a large dealers room filled with magazines, paperbacks, new pulp fiction, comic books, etc. There will be panels, films, auctions and other presentations. For this year’s convention, PulpFest has added a new gaming track featuring a variety of games related to and inspired by the great pulp magazines.
While I have an interest in most of the above, my main reason for attending PulpFest every year is to see dear friends like Anthony “Tex” Tollin, Will Murray, Michelle Nolan, Ron Fortier, Rob Davis and others. It’s a relaxing show for me.
Unlike previous years, I’ll be part of the programming. On Thursday night at 9:20 pm in the Delaware Room, I’ll be on the “75 Years of Street & Smith Comics” panel with Tollin, Murray, and Nolan...all of who know a heck of a lot more about the topic than I ever will. My big hope is to not embarrass myself.
As I said, for me, PulpFest is a time for relaxing. I usually bring a small stack of books and other items that I haven’t been able to read at home. I get together with Columbus area friends that I do not see often enough. I’ll also be working on a story that I have been anxious to write for months. This “relaxing” stuff is sort of a relative thing with me.
This year, there will be another possible diversion waiting for me. Matsuricon 2015 is taking place at the Greater Columbus Convention Center (which is physically connected to the Hyatt) the same time ss PulpFest. Paraphrasing the official website:
It’s an annual Japanese pop-culture event focusing on anime, manga and video games. It has American and Japanese popular culture, due to the natural overlap of fandom from both genres.
The convention considers itself a “family friendly” event. Most of its panels are all ages unless otherwise stated. If certain events are not appropriate for attendees under the age of 18, con staffers check the IDs of attendees before they enter these events.
Matsuricon’s goal is to promote the cultural awareness of Japanese pop-culture through related events, special guest speakers and cultural presentations.
Depending on what else is going on, I plan to visit Matsuricon for a few hours on either Friday or Sunday. If any of my bloggy thing readers or Facebook friends will be there, get in touch with me and maybe we can get together.
I’ll be arriving at the Hyatt on Thursday afternoon. If you want to get together with me, email me or send a private Facebook message. I’ll try to make myself available.
I won’t be doing another convention or related event until October, but I’ll talk about those appearances at a later date.
******************************
Briefly noted: The Man From Planet X [1951]
Turner Classic Movies presented an evening of alien invasion flicks from the 1950s and I recorded most of them. Lifted from Internet Movie Database, here’s the basic plot of this one:
As a mysterious planet hurls itself toward earth, an enigmatic extraterrestrial scout arrives on a remote Scottish island with unknown intentions.
This was a so-so movie. The most notable thing about it is seeing Patty Duke’s television dad (William Schallert) playing a crooked scientist who tortures the alien scout for personal gain. Because it’s always the right move to torture someone more technologically advanced than you are.
It was worth watching once, but that will suffice.
******************************
Barb and I went to the Medina County Fair last yesterday. I wrote a letter to the local newspaper about it:
My wife and I went to the Medina County Fair Wednesday night. We had a mostly nice time. The fair is terrific, a great place to eat delicious food that's no darn good for you and to run into friends you don't see often enough. However, I was dismayed at how many people I saw displaying, selling or wearing the Confederate flag. I wondered if these folks had always been racists and traitors to our nation...or if they came to those terrible ideologies later in life. Because if they claim that flag stands for anything else, they are being willfully ignorant of history.
The newspaper ran my letter in its Friday edition. That afternoon, when I went to the grocery store, I was approached by a gentleman who had read the letter. Once he established that I was “that comic-book guy” - the Gazette ran several pieces about me last year, so people often recognize me - and “the guy who wrote the Confederate flag letter,” he wanted to tell me something. What he told me was unexpected.
He had flown a Confederate flag outside his home on occasion, never giving it much thought until he read my letter. He said he’ll never fly the flag again. He’s neither a racist nor a traitor. He hates the thought of people judging him by that flag and was upset with himself that he never really considered what that flag stands for. We shook hands.
Maybe he was putting me on. If he wasn’t and if my letter got even one man to consider the evil that flag stands for, then I’m calling it a win for the forces of good.
******************************
I’ve been enjoying Zoo, the CBS television series based on a novel by James Patterson and Michael Ledwidge. Intrigued by the earliest promo ads for the series, I requested the novel through my library. I enjoyed the novel and decided to watch the series.
I’m six episodes into the series and enjoying it as well. However, my reason for mentioning it here is that the show has a comic-book connection of which I was unaware. Actually, two of them, but I’ll go first to the one I didn’t just learn ten minutes ago.
Jay Faerber, who has written such terrific creator-owned comics as Noble Causes and Dynamo 5, is a story editor on the series and has written two episodes. The first (“Blame It on Leo”) aired July 28. The second (“The Cheese Stands Alone”) is scheduled to air August 18. I enjoyed his first episode and am looking forward to watching his second.
The other comic-book connection? While checking facts for today’s column, I stumbled across Zoo: The Graphic Novel, an adaptation of the novel by Andy MacDonald. I hadn’t heard of this graphic novel before, but I have already requested it from my library. Look for some further comments after I receive and read it.
That’s all for now. I’ll be back tomorrow with more stuff.
© 2015 Tony Isabella
While I have an interest in most of the above, my main reason for attending PulpFest every year is to see dear friends like Anthony “Tex” Tollin, Will Murray, Michelle Nolan, Ron Fortier, Rob Davis and others. It’s a relaxing show for me.
Unlike previous years, I’ll be part of the programming. On Thursday night at 9:20 pm in the Delaware Room, I’ll be on the “75 Years of Street & Smith Comics” panel with Tollin, Murray, and Nolan...all of who know a heck of a lot more about the topic than I ever will. My big hope is to not embarrass myself.
As I said, for me, PulpFest is a time for relaxing. I usually bring a small stack of books and other items that I haven’t been able to read at home. I get together with Columbus area friends that I do not see often enough. I’ll also be working on a story that I have been anxious to write for months. This “relaxing” stuff is sort of a relative thing with me.
This year, there will be another possible diversion waiting for me. Matsuricon 2015 is taking place at the Greater Columbus Convention Center (which is physically connected to the Hyatt) the same time ss PulpFest. Paraphrasing the official website:
It’s an annual Japanese pop-culture event focusing on anime, manga and video games. It has American and Japanese popular culture, due to the natural overlap of fandom from both genres.
The convention considers itself a “family friendly” event. Most of its panels are all ages unless otherwise stated. If certain events are not appropriate for attendees under the age of 18, con staffers check the IDs of attendees before they enter these events.
Matsuricon’s goal is to promote the cultural awareness of Japanese pop-culture through related events, special guest speakers and cultural presentations.
Depending on what else is going on, I plan to visit Matsuricon for a few hours on either Friday or Sunday. If any of my bloggy thing readers or Facebook friends will be there, get in touch with me and maybe we can get together.
I’ll be arriving at the Hyatt on Thursday afternoon. If you want to get together with me, email me or send a private Facebook message. I’ll try to make myself available.
I won’t be doing another convention or related event until October, but I’ll talk about those appearances at a later date.
******************************
Briefly noted: The Man From Planet X [1951]
Turner Classic Movies presented an evening of alien invasion flicks from the 1950s and I recorded most of them. Lifted from Internet Movie Database, here’s the basic plot of this one:
As a mysterious planet hurls itself toward earth, an enigmatic extraterrestrial scout arrives on a remote Scottish island with unknown intentions.
This was a so-so movie. The most notable thing about it is seeing Patty Duke’s television dad (William Schallert) playing a crooked scientist who tortures the alien scout for personal gain. Because it’s always the right move to torture someone more technologically advanced than you are.
It was worth watching once, but that will suffice.
******************************
Barb and I went to the Medina County Fair last yesterday. I wrote a letter to the local newspaper about it:
My wife and I went to the Medina County Fair Wednesday night. We had a mostly nice time. The fair is terrific, a great place to eat delicious food that's no darn good for you and to run into friends you don't see often enough. However, I was dismayed at how many people I saw displaying, selling or wearing the Confederate flag. I wondered if these folks had always been racists and traitors to our nation...or if they came to those terrible ideologies later in life. Because if they claim that flag stands for anything else, they are being willfully ignorant of history.
The newspaper ran my letter in its Friday edition. That afternoon, when I went to the grocery store, I was approached by a gentleman who had read the letter. Once he established that I was “that comic-book guy” - the Gazette ran several pieces about me last year, so people often recognize me - and “the guy who wrote the Confederate flag letter,” he wanted to tell me something. What he told me was unexpected.
He had flown a Confederate flag outside his home on occasion, never giving it much thought until he read my letter. He said he’ll never fly the flag again. He’s neither a racist nor a traitor. He hates the thought of people judging him by that flag and was upset with himself that he never really considered what that flag stands for. We shook hands.
Maybe he was putting me on. If he wasn’t and if my letter got even one man to consider the evil that flag stands for, then I’m calling it a win for the forces of good.
******************************
I’ve been enjoying Zoo, the CBS television series based on a novel by James Patterson and Michael Ledwidge. Intrigued by the earliest promo ads for the series, I requested the novel through my library. I enjoyed the novel and decided to watch the series.
I’m six episodes into the series and enjoying it as well. However, my reason for mentioning it here is that the show has a comic-book connection of which I was unaware. Actually, two of them, but I’ll go first to the one I didn’t just learn ten minutes ago.
Jay Faerber, who has written such terrific creator-owned comics as Noble Causes and Dynamo 5, is a story editor on the series and has written two episodes. The first (“Blame It on Leo”) aired July 28. The second (“The Cheese Stands Alone”) is scheduled to air August 18. I enjoyed his first episode and am looking forward to watching his second.
The other comic-book connection? While checking facts for today’s column, I stumbled across Zoo: The Graphic Novel, an adaptation of the novel by Andy MacDonald. I hadn’t heard of this graphic novel before, but I have already requested it from my library. Look for some further comments after I receive and read it.
That’s all for now. I’ll be back tomorrow with more stuff.
© 2015 Tony Isabella
Saturday, August 8, 2015
LAVALANTULA
Lavalantula debuted on the SyFy Channel on Saturday, July 25. It was the finale of the network’s Sharknado 3 week. It may not have had any sharks, but it did have a cameo in-character appearance by the star of the Sharknado movies tied to the other six movies that made their debuts during that wondrous week of “B” movie madness.
Lavalantula was directed by Michael Mendez, who also directed 2014's Big Ass Spider. It’s written by Neil Elman and Ashley O'Neil. Elman has produced or written a bunch of B horror/monster/sci-fi movies, including Mongolian Death Worm and The Sea Beast. The movie is the first writing credit for O’Neil, who has also worked as a story editor and stunt double.
Lifted from Lavalantula’s product description on Amazon, here’s the bare bones plot of the movie:
After a dormant volcano erupts miles outside of Los Angeles, something within the molten hot lava is awakened. Birthed from the bowels of the earth itself, arachnid-like creatures with an obsidian-black exoskeleton swarm out. One man, Colton West, a washed-up, former A-list action star, suddenly finds himself the real life hero as he's forced to use his onscreen characters' know-how to save the entire city from being victims to the most horrifying villains you couldn't write any better.
Steve Guttenberg plays West as a man who hasn’t quite figured out that he’s not the big star he once was. He’s not easy to work with, though he nails his scenes. The media makes him out to be a guy who frequently gets into trouble. However, when he gets into trouble, it’s usually because he was trying to help someone. He’s weary of the drama, but he’s still a capable and courageous tough guy who, like his characters, can think fast when necessary.
When the volcano blows and the flaming spiders attack, West wants only to get his wife [Nia Peeples] and son [Noah Hunt] to safety. Unfortunately, he’s separated from them by the deadly spiders and the hellish L.A. freeway system.
Here’s where I issue the traditional warning...
SPOILERS AHEAD
SPOILERS AHEAD
SPOILERS AHEAD
SPOILERS AHEAD
SPOILERS AHEAD
SPOILERS AHEAD
SPOILERS AHEAD
SPOILERS AHEAD
Trying to reach his family, West rescues a busload of tourists. Oh, sure, he has to hijack their bus to do so, but that’s the kind of thing action heroes do. He picks up a couple of quirky allies along the way. Especially good are Ralph Garman as former stuntman Pirate Jack and Patrick Renna as fanboy Chris.
Sidebar. The movie also features three of Guttenberg’s fellow cast members from the Police Academy movies. Michael Winslow and Marion Ramsey play movie crew members Marty and Teddie. Leslie Easterbrook plays a neighbor of the West family.
Lavalantula is an entertaining film. Each member of the West family must fight their way out of dangerous spider encounters and acquit themselves well. For the big finale, they team with the crew of the movie West had been working on to stop the spiders before all Los Angeles becomes a flaming field of death. It’s very exciting stuff, especially when West must embrace an old movie role to take on the queen of the lavalantulas.
SUPER SPOILERS AHEAD
SUPER SPOILERS AHEAD
SUPER SPOILERS AHEAD
SUPER SPOILERS AHEAD
SUPER SPOILERS AHEAD
SUPER SPOILERS AHEAD
SUPER SPOILERS AHEAD
SUPER SPOILERS AHEAD
My love for cheesy movies like Lavalantula can sometimes hamper my enjoyment of them. When it was determined that all the spiders were controlled by the queen, I immediately recognize this movie had the same basic ending as 2012's Arachnoquake. As in the earlier movie, the hero’s climatic battle with the big bad monster happens around and on skyscrapers. Kill the mama lavalantula and the others will die or scurry back to the depths of the earth. Despite a really fun performance by Guttenberg and other Lavalantula cast members, the “borrowing” from the earlier film diminished my overall enjoyment of the newer one. Sigh.
SPOILERS OVER
SPOILERS OVER
SPOILERS OVER
SPOILERS OVER
SPOILERS OVER
SPOILERS OVER
SPOILERS OVER
SPOILERS OVER
I enjoyed Lavalantula. I especially liked Guttenberg’s performance. So I’m delighted to hear that Lavalantula 2 will be coming our way in the future. I’m looking forward to that.
Will you enjoy Lavalantula? Yeah, if you’re into these big creature features, I think you will. It’s definitely worth watching at least once. When the DVD is released in November, I’ll likely buy it and watch the movie again.
Here’s how I rate the seven movies that made their debuts during Sharknado 3 week on the SyFy Channel.
1. Mega Shark Versus Kolossus
2. 3-Headed Shark Attack
Lavalantula was directed by Michael Mendez, who also directed 2014's Big Ass Spider. It’s written by Neil Elman and Ashley O'Neil. Elman has produced or written a bunch of B horror/monster/sci-fi movies, including Mongolian Death Worm and The Sea Beast. The movie is the first writing credit for O’Neil, who has also worked as a story editor and stunt double.
Lifted from Lavalantula’s product description on Amazon, here’s the bare bones plot of the movie:
After a dormant volcano erupts miles outside of Los Angeles, something within the molten hot lava is awakened. Birthed from the bowels of the earth itself, arachnid-like creatures with an obsidian-black exoskeleton swarm out. One man, Colton West, a washed-up, former A-list action star, suddenly finds himself the real life hero as he's forced to use his onscreen characters' know-how to save the entire city from being victims to the most horrifying villains you couldn't write any better.
Steve Guttenberg plays West as a man who hasn’t quite figured out that he’s not the big star he once was. He’s not easy to work with, though he nails his scenes. The media makes him out to be a guy who frequently gets into trouble. However, when he gets into trouble, it’s usually because he was trying to help someone. He’s weary of the drama, but he’s still a capable and courageous tough guy who, like his characters, can think fast when necessary.
When the volcano blows and the flaming spiders attack, West wants only to get his wife [Nia Peeples] and son [Noah Hunt] to safety. Unfortunately, he’s separated from them by the deadly spiders and the hellish L.A. freeway system.
Here’s where I issue the traditional warning...
SPOILERS AHEAD
SPOILERS AHEAD
SPOILERS AHEAD
SPOILERS AHEAD
SPOILERS AHEAD
SPOILERS AHEAD
SPOILERS AHEAD
SPOILERS AHEAD
Trying to reach his family, West rescues a busload of tourists. Oh, sure, he has to hijack their bus to do so, but that’s the kind of thing action heroes do. He picks up a couple of quirky allies along the way. Especially good are Ralph Garman as former stuntman Pirate Jack and Patrick Renna as fanboy Chris.
Sidebar. The movie also features three of Guttenberg’s fellow cast members from the Police Academy movies. Michael Winslow and Marion Ramsey play movie crew members Marty and Teddie. Leslie Easterbrook plays a neighbor of the West family.
Lavalantula is an entertaining film. Each member of the West family must fight their way out of dangerous spider encounters and acquit themselves well. For the big finale, they team with the crew of the movie West had been working on to stop the spiders before all Los Angeles becomes a flaming field of death. It’s very exciting stuff, especially when West must embrace an old movie role to take on the queen of the lavalantulas.
SUPER SPOILERS AHEAD
SUPER SPOILERS AHEAD
SUPER SPOILERS AHEAD
SUPER SPOILERS AHEAD
SUPER SPOILERS AHEAD
SUPER SPOILERS AHEAD
SUPER SPOILERS AHEAD
SUPER SPOILERS AHEAD
My love for cheesy movies like Lavalantula can sometimes hamper my enjoyment of them. When it was determined that all the spiders were controlled by the queen, I immediately recognize this movie had the same basic ending as 2012's Arachnoquake. As in the earlier movie, the hero’s climatic battle with the big bad monster happens around and on skyscrapers. Kill the mama lavalantula and the others will die or scurry back to the depths of the earth. Despite a really fun performance by Guttenberg and other Lavalantula cast members, the “borrowing” from the earlier film diminished my overall enjoyment of the newer one. Sigh.
SPOILERS OVER
SPOILERS OVER
SPOILERS OVER
SPOILERS OVER
SPOILERS OVER
SPOILERS OVER
SPOILERS OVER
SPOILERS OVER
I enjoyed Lavalantula. I especially liked Guttenberg’s performance. So I’m delighted to hear that Lavalantula 2 will be coming our way in the future. I’m looking forward to that.
Will you enjoy Lavalantula? Yeah, if you’re into these big creature features, I think you will. It’s definitely worth watching at least once. When the DVD is released in November, I’ll likely buy it and watch the movie again.
Here’s how I rate the seven movies that made their debuts during Sharknado 3 week on the SyFy Channel.
1. Mega Shark Versus Kolossus
2. 3-Headed Shark Attack
3. Sharknado 3: Oh Hell No!
4. Lavalantula
5. Zombie Shark
6. Sharktopus Versus Whale Wolf
7. Roboshark
Feel free to post your own ratings in our comments section. I love to hear from my readers.
I’ll be back tomorrow with my PulpFest 2015 preview and some other cool stuff. See you then.
© 2015 Tony Isabella
4. Lavalantula
5. Zombie Shark
6. Sharktopus Versus Whale Wolf
7. Roboshark
Feel free to post your own ratings in our comments section. I love to hear from my readers.
I’ll be back tomorrow with my PulpFest 2015 preview and some other cool stuff. See you then.
© 2015 Tony Isabella
Friday, August 7, 2015
ARCHIE VS. SHARKNADO
I couldn’t resist buying Archie Vs. Sharknado [$4.99]. Though I am less than fond of most of Archie’s gimmick comics - as in Afterlife with Archie makes me nauseous with its loathsome sensationalism - the first Sharknado remains a “B” movie favorite of mine. I would have bought any Sharknado comic book.
Written by Anthony C. Ferrante, the director of all three Sharknado films, “Archie Vs. Sharknado” is a 40-page battle between America’s favorite teenagers and America’s favorite swirling man-eaters. As with Sharknado 3, it starts in Washington D.C. and makes its way to Riverdale. The lively, nigh-bubbly art by Dan Parent (pencils) and Rich Koslowski (inks) appears to have been as much fun to draw as it is to look at. Some of the scenes of violence are gory by usual Archie standards, but fit right in with this madness.
Here comes the usual warning...
SPOILERS AHEAD
SPOILERS AHEAD
SPOILERS AHEAD
SPOILERS AHEAD
SPOILERS AHEAD
SPOILERS AHEAD
SPOILERS AHEAD
SPOILERS AHEAD
Betty and Veronica are pretty darn kick-ass as they escape from our nation’s capital to warn their Riverdale friends of the sharknado. Alas, Mr. Lodge doesn’t make it out of D.C.
Archie and Cheryl Blossom seem to be boyfriend/girlfriend in this story. This was probably done so Archie would have someone he could protect. Betty and Veronica did just fine without him and, indeed, did more than their fair share of rescuing.
Josie and the Pussycats appear with Melody getting her hand bitten off by s shark in an obvious nod to Tara Reid, who played Melody in the Josie and the Pussycats movie and plays April Wexler-Shepherd in the Sharknado films. Melody remains in ditzy character, singing when she finds her detached hand.
The body count among the Archie regulars is surprisingly low. One character appears dead in a battle within Riverdale High, but shows up alive on the final page of the story. The most necessary death is a character that had to be taken out of the fight because said character could have ended the crisis quickly. A few of the eaten will be familiar to even casual Archie readers, some are virtually unknown to the general public.
Heads of victims are seen in the mouths of sharks so often in the story that the bit becomes tiresome. If I had to guess, I would bet those particular victims were based on people who work for either Archie Comics or The Asylum, the studio that makes the Sharknado movies.
The kids destroy the Riverdale sharknado by repeating what worked in Los Angeles in the first Sharknado movie. They toss a bomb into it and blow up the sharknado and its sharks. It’s an anti-climatic, disappointing ending. I was expecting/hoping that resident genius Dilton would have come up with something more original.
SPOILERS OVER
SPOILERS OVER
SPOILERS OVER
SPOILERS OVER
SPOILERS OVER
SPOILERS OVER
SPOILERS OVER
SPOILERS OVER
Archie Vs. Sharknado is a decent little novelty item. It’s not an outstanding comic book, but it was entertaining enough that I don’t regret buying a copy.
I’ll be back tomorrow with my review of Lavalantula. See you then.
© 2015 Tony Isabella
Written by Anthony C. Ferrante, the director of all three Sharknado films, “Archie Vs. Sharknado” is a 40-page battle between America’s favorite teenagers and America’s favorite swirling man-eaters. As with Sharknado 3, it starts in Washington D.C. and makes its way to Riverdale. The lively, nigh-bubbly art by Dan Parent (pencils) and Rich Koslowski (inks) appears to have been as much fun to draw as it is to look at. Some of the scenes of violence are gory by usual Archie standards, but fit right in with this madness.
Here comes the usual warning...
SPOILERS AHEAD
SPOILERS AHEAD
SPOILERS AHEAD
SPOILERS AHEAD
SPOILERS AHEAD
SPOILERS AHEAD
SPOILERS AHEAD
SPOILERS AHEAD
Betty and Veronica are pretty darn kick-ass as they escape from our nation’s capital to warn their Riverdale friends of the sharknado. Alas, Mr. Lodge doesn’t make it out of D.C.
Archie and Cheryl Blossom seem to be boyfriend/girlfriend in this story. This was probably done so Archie would have someone he could protect. Betty and Veronica did just fine without him and, indeed, did more than their fair share of rescuing.
Josie and the Pussycats appear with Melody getting her hand bitten off by s shark in an obvious nod to Tara Reid, who played Melody in the Josie and the Pussycats movie and plays April Wexler-Shepherd in the Sharknado films. Melody remains in ditzy character, singing when she finds her detached hand.
The body count among the Archie regulars is surprisingly low. One character appears dead in a battle within Riverdale High, but shows up alive on the final page of the story. The most necessary death is a character that had to be taken out of the fight because said character could have ended the crisis quickly. A few of the eaten will be familiar to even casual Archie readers, some are virtually unknown to the general public.
Heads of victims are seen in the mouths of sharks so often in the story that the bit becomes tiresome. If I had to guess, I would bet those particular victims were based on people who work for either Archie Comics or The Asylum, the studio that makes the Sharknado movies.
The kids destroy the Riverdale sharknado by repeating what worked in Los Angeles in the first Sharknado movie. They toss a bomb into it and blow up the sharknado and its sharks. It’s an anti-climatic, disappointing ending. I was expecting/hoping that resident genius Dilton would have come up with something more original.
SPOILERS OVER
SPOILERS OVER
SPOILERS OVER
SPOILERS OVER
SPOILERS OVER
SPOILERS OVER
SPOILERS OVER
SPOILERS OVER
Archie Vs. Sharknado is a decent little novelty item. It’s not an outstanding comic book, but it was entertaining enough that I don’t regret buying a copy.
I’ll be back tomorrow with my review of Lavalantula. See you then.
© 2015 Tony Isabella
Thursday, August 6, 2015
SHARKNADO 3: OH HELL NO!
Debuting on the SyFy channel on Wednesday, July 22, Sharknado 3: Oh Hell No! was the finale to the network’s epic Sharknado Week. Sure, there would be one more SyFy movie premiere on Saturday, July 25 - Lavalantula - and it would even have a way cool cameo by Sharknado hero Fin Shepherd [Ian Ziering], but Sharknado 3 was the movie we were all waiting for.
When it comes to Sharknado movies, we all know the drill. We’ll see very silly things. We will be asked to take them as seriously as do the cast members. We will do this because the movies are just plain hilarious. It’s kind of like a sacred covenant.
People will die in gory manner and in considerable numbers. Some will be celebrities portraying themselves. Some will be celebrities from sports and reality TV shows and politics playing characters other than themselves. Some of these deaths will be cruel, but we will laugh at them anyway. It’s the covenant.
Fin Shepherd will do incredible things. It’s possible he has some mutant power that allows him to do whatever he has to do to rescue his loved ones and save the world. When Fin says he can sense these storms, our immediate thought is, of course he can.
Sharknado 3 has perhaps too many guest stars and cameo appearances. They distract from the faux-seriousness of the unfolding action by making the viewer stop and wonder “Was that someone?” I think the balance was better in Sharknado 2: The Second One. I hope it will be even better in the already-announced Sharknado 4. I think before I comment further I need to post the traditional warning:
SPOILERS AHEAD
SPOILERS AHEAD
SPOILERS AHEAD
SPOILERS AHEAD
SPOILERS AHEAD
SPOILERS AHEAD
SPOILERS AHEAD
SPOILERS AHEAD
From IMDB, here’s the basic plot:
A monstrous tornado unleashes ravenous sharks from Washington D.C., all the way down to Orlando, Florida.
Fin is in Washington to get a medal. An expectant April and their daughter Claudia are in Florida. Our nation’s capital is only the first battleground for Fin. The battle will eventually take him to outer space where an experimental and never flown space shuttle may be mankind’s only hope. In the course of the movie, we learn that the sharks are able to live in the air a heck of a lot longer than we ever realized. This adds a new mystery to the mix.
The nature of Sharknado makes it difficult to talk about acting in these movies. The most important thespian skill required is to not laugh at loud at what you’re doing and saying. This is not a skill I dismiss in the slightest. Without it, Sharknado movies would not be as much fun as they are. That said, some celebrities ham it up and hurt the movie.
Ziering is his usual terrific as Shepherd. Tara Reid doesn’t have as much to do in this one as she did in Sharknado 2, which I think is a shame because she kicked ass in that second movie. I welcome the return of Cassie Scerbo as Nova Clarke because Nova is a great character: capable, determined, tough, not quite over her crush on Fin. That made for some great scenes.
Frankie Muniz is amazing as sharknado hunter Lucas Stevens. I think he could be one of the best “B” monster movie heroes of our time. Casting directors take note.
As Gilbert Grayson Shepard, Fin’s astronaut dad, David Hasselhoff does not disappoint. He should be brought back for Sharknado 4 and I know how to do it.
Mark Cuban was pretty good as President Marcus Robbins. Ann Coulter played his vice-president and, since she wasn’t playing herself, I was okay with her not dying. However, these was no excuse for not letting ex-Congresswoman Michelle Bachmann, playing herself, become shark chow.
Director Anthony C. Ferrante and writer Thunder Levin clearly had a ball working on this movie. I could easily imagine them cackling with delight at this or that nasty bit of business.
There are also some familiar character names:
Mark McGrath plays “Martin Brody.”
Lorenzo Lamas is “Sergeant Rock.”
Lou Ferrigno plays Secret Service Agent Banner.
An uncredited Erika Jordan plays NASA Engineer Harleen Quinn.
Before we go further, I have to activate the most serious warning the bloggy thing has at its command...
SUPER SPOILERS AHEAD
SUPER SPOILERS AHEAD
SUPER SPOILERS AHEAD
SUPER SPOILERS AHEAD
SUPER SPOILERS AHEAD
SUPER SPOILERS AHEAD
SUPER SPOILERS AHEAD
SUPER SPOILERS AHEAD
Fin, his dad and stowaway April launch into space on the shuttle. The plan is to blow the booster rockets and use the extreme heat of that explosion to destroy the humongous sharknado. The plan works, but the sharks destroy the shuttle.
April is swallowed whole. Fin climbs into a shark for re-entry and, no, I’m not making that up. The various dead sharks end up on land. Fin cuts his way out of his smouldering shark. Then he cuts April and their newborn son out of the shark that swallowed her. I’m also not making this up. She gave birth inside the shark. This made me laugh. The final scene pissed me off.
Shuttle and shark debris fall around Fin, April, their baby, their daughter and Nova. They seem to escape harm until a huge chunk of space shuttle falls either on or near April. We don’t know which. That’s where the movie ends. Followed by a request for viewers to vote on whether or not April lives or dies. It’s every bit as cheap a ploy as when DC Comics rigged the voting to make sure Jason Todd died in the Batman comics of the 1980s.
There’s silly, which is what a good Sharknado movie should be. Then there’s crass and not classy, which is what that stupid scene was. Ir really put a damper on what had been an enjoyable evening with the movie. I expected better of the Asylum.
SPECULATIONS AHEAD
SPECULATIONS AHEAD
SPECULATIONS AHEAD
SPECULATIONS AHEAD
SPECULATIONS AHEAD
SPECULATIONS AHEAD
SPECULATIONS AHEAD
SPECULATIONS AHEAD
Sharknado 4 should be the last movie in the series. Now that we’re aware that something’s not quite right with the windblown sharks, I think the finale should reveal there’s an evil power behind the storms. It could be a James Bond super-villain or, my own favorite choice, aliens. You could even reveal the aliens were the cause of such other Asylum disasters as Stonados and Super Cyclone. If the Asylum wants to channel comic books, what could be more appropriate than a studio-wide crossover event?
Of course, the first thing the aliens or the super-villain should do is rescue Gil Shepherd. After seemingly sacrificing his life to save mankind, Fin’s dad somehow managed to make it to the Moon and the site of the Moon Landing. They would probably consider him as a useful bargaining chip. But Gil is a Shepherd. He’d find a way to turn the tables on his captors.
Sharknado 4 needn’t be the end of Fin’s adventures. There are all sorts of scary monsters and situations that could use a cool head and a courageous heart. Just as there are heroes from other Asylum productions that could be used in such movies.
Remember 2010's Mega-Piranha? How about another Asylum adventure for super-agent Jason Fitch [Paul Logan] and scientist Sarah Monroe [Tiffany]? I was tickled by the romantic sparks between them at the end of the movie because I loved the idea of the buff hero falling for a heroine who wasn’t model-skinny.
If you have suggestions for other returning Asylum characters or weird directions Sharknado 4 could go in, feel free to post them in our comments section.
SPOILERS OVER
SPOILERS OVER
SPOILERS OVER
SPOILERS OVER
SPOILERS OVER
SPOILERS OVER
SPOILERS OVER
SPOILERS OVER
The bottom line...Sharknado 3 was not as entertaining as the first two movies. If I had to pinpoint the why of that - ignoring for the moment, the dumb cliffhanger and subsequent voting on the fate of a character - it would be the excessive use of guest celebrities. Most of them took the focus away from Fin and his family.
When Fin and his family are in danger, we care because we’ve become invested in them. When it’s some character whose only purpose is to die horribly, we don’t. Keep the focus on the Shepherds and you’ll get us back.
This review ran longer than I anticipated. Come back tomorrow for my thoughts on Archie vs. Sharknado. See you then.
© 2015 Tony Isabella
When it comes to Sharknado movies, we all know the drill. We’ll see very silly things. We will be asked to take them as seriously as do the cast members. We will do this because the movies are just plain hilarious. It’s kind of like a sacred covenant.
People will die in gory manner and in considerable numbers. Some will be celebrities portraying themselves. Some will be celebrities from sports and reality TV shows and politics playing characters other than themselves. Some of these deaths will be cruel, but we will laugh at them anyway. It’s the covenant.
Fin Shepherd will do incredible things. It’s possible he has some mutant power that allows him to do whatever he has to do to rescue his loved ones and save the world. When Fin says he can sense these storms, our immediate thought is, of course he can.
Sharknado 3 has perhaps too many guest stars and cameo appearances. They distract from the faux-seriousness of the unfolding action by making the viewer stop and wonder “Was that someone?” I think the balance was better in Sharknado 2: The Second One. I hope it will be even better in the already-announced Sharknado 4. I think before I comment further I need to post the traditional warning:
SPOILERS AHEAD
SPOILERS AHEAD
SPOILERS AHEAD
SPOILERS AHEAD
SPOILERS AHEAD
SPOILERS AHEAD
SPOILERS AHEAD
SPOILERS AHEAD
From IMDB, here’s the basic plot:
A monstrous tornado unleashes ravenous sharks from Washington D.C., all the way down to Orlando, Florida.
Fin is in Washington to get a medal. An expectant April and their daughter Claudia are in Florida. Our nation’s capital is only the first battleground for Fin. The battle will eventually take him to outer space where an experimental and never flown space shuttle may be mankind’s only hope. In the course of the movie, we learn that the sharks are able to live in the air a heck of a lot longer than we ever realized. This adds a new mystery to the mix.
The nature of Sharknado makes it difficult to talk about acting in these movies. The most important thespian skill required is to not laugh at loud at what you’re doing and saying. This is not a skill I dismiss in the slightest. Without it, Sharknado movies would not be as much fun as they are. That said, some celebrities ham it up and hurt the movie.
Ziering is his usual terrific as Shepherd. Tara Reid doesn’t have as much to do in this one as she did in Sharknado 2, which I think is a shame because she kicked ass in that second movie. I welcome the return of Cassie Scerbo as Nova Clarke because Nova is a great character: capable, determined, tough, not quite over her crush on Fin. That made for some great scenes.
Frankie Muniz is amazing as sharknado hunter Lucas Stevens. I think he could be one of the best “B” monster movie heroes of our time. Casting directors take note.
As Gilbert Grayson Shepard, Fin’s astronaut dad, David Hasselhoff does not disappoint. He should be brought back for Sharknado 4 and I know how to do it.
Mark Cuban was pretty good as President Marcus Robbins. Ann Coulter played his vice-president and, since she wasn’t playing herself, I was okay with her not dying. However, these was no excuse for not letting ex-Congresswoman Michelle Bachmann, playing herself, become shark chow.
Director Anthony C. Ferrante and writer Thunder Levin clearly had a ball working on this movie. I could easily imagine them cackling with delight at this or that nasty bit of business.
There are also some familiar character names:
Mark McGrath plays “Martin Brody.”
Lorenzo Lamas is “Sergeant Rock.”
Lou Ferrigno plays Secret Service Agent Banner.
An uncredited Erika Jordan plays NASA Engineer Harleen Quinn.
Before we go further, I have to activate the most serious warning the bloggy thing has at its command...
SUPER SPOILERS AHEAD
SUPER SPOILERS AHEAD
SUPER SPOILERS AHEAD
SUPER SPOILERS AHEAD
SUPER SPOILERS AHEAD
SUPER SPOILERS AHEAD
SUPER SPOILERS AHEAD
SUPER SPOILERS AHEAD
Fin, his dad and stowaway April launch into space on the shuttle. The plan is to blow the booster rockets and use the extreme heat of that explosion to destroy the humongous sharknado. The plan works, but the sharks destroy the shuttle.
April is swallowed whole. Fin climbs into a shark for re-entry and, no, I’m not making that up. The various dead sharks end up on land. Fin cuts his way out of his smouldering shark. Then he cuts April and their newborn son out of the shark that swallowed her. I’m also not making this up. She gave birth inside the shark. This made me laugh. The final scene pissed me off.
Shuttle and shark debris fall around Fin, April, their baby, their daughter and Nova. They seem to escape harm until a huge chunk of space shuttle falls either on or near April. We don’t know which. That’s where the movie ends. Followed by a request for viewers to vote on whether or not April lives or dies. It’s every bit as cheap a ploy as when DC Comics rigged the voting to make sure Jason Todd died in the Batman comics of the 1980s.
There’s silly, which is what a good Sharknado movie should be. Then there’s crass and not classy, which is what that stupid scene was. Ir really put a damper on what had been an enjoyable evening with the movie. I expected better of the Asylum.
SPECULATIONS AHEAD
SPECULATIONS AHEAD
SPECULATIONS AHEAD
SPECULATIONS AHEAD
SPECULATIONS AHEAD
SPECULATIONS AHEAD
SPECULATIONS AHEAD
SPECULATIONS AHEAD
Sharknado 4 should be the last movie in the series. Now that we’re aware that something’s not quite right with the windblown sharks, I think the finale should reveal there’s an evil power behind the storms. It could be a James Bond super-villain or, my own favorite choice, aliens. You could even reveal the aliens were the cause of such other Asylum disasters as Stonados and Super Cyclone. If the Asylum wants to channel comic books, what could be more appropriate than a studio-wide crossover event?
Of course, the first thing the aliens or the super-villain should do is rescue Gil Shepherd. After seemingly sacrificing his life to save mankind, Fin’s dad somehow managed to make it to the Moon and the site of the Moon Landing. They would probably consider him as a useful bargaining chip. But Gil is a Shepherd. He’d find a way to turn the tables on his captors.
Sharknado 4 needn’t be the end of Fin’s adventures. There are all sorts of scary monsters and situations that could use a cool head and a courageous heart. Just as there are heroes from other Asylum productions that could be used in such movies.
Remember 2010's Mega-Piranha? How about another Asylum adventure for super-agent Jason Fitch [Paul Logan] and scientist Sarah Monroe [Tiffany]? I was tickled by the romantic sparks between them at the end of the movie because I loved the idea of the buff hero falling for a heroine who wasn’t model-skinny.
If you have suggestions for other returning Asylum characters or weird directions Sharknado 4 could go in, feel free to post them in our comments section.
SPOILERS OVER
SPOILERS OVER
SPOILERS OVER
SPOILERS OVER
SPOILERS OVER
SPOILERS OVER
SPOILERS OVER
SPOILERS OVER
The bottom line...Sharknado 3 was not as entertaining as the first two movies. If I had to pinpoint the why of that - ignoring for the moment, the dumb cliffhanger and subsequent voting on the fate of a character - it would be the excessive use of guest celebrities. Most of them took the focus away from Fin and his family.
When Fin and his family are in danger, we care because we’ve become invested in them. When it’s some character whose only purpose is to die horribly, we don’t. Keep the focus on the Shepherds and you’ll get us back.
This review ran longer than I anticipated. Come back tomorrow for my thoughts on Archie vs. Sharknado. See you then.
© 2015 Tony Isabella
Tuesday, August 4, 2015
ZOMBIE SHARK
Zombie Shark was the fifth of seven movies to make its debut on the SyFy channel during Sharknado 3 week. It aired on Monday, July 20, the second half of a double bill with 3-Headed Shark Attack. It’s the first full-length feature to be directed by Misty Talley, who had previously worked on over a dozen films as an editor or in some other editorial capacity.
Written by Greg Mitchell, whose only other solo writing credit is 2014's Snakehead Swamp, the movie’s title creature is “Bruce.” an experimental shark who has escaped from a research lab to feast on people around a small secluded island. Like a typical zombie, it’s come back to life after being killed. It can’t be killed unless its brain is destroyed. It infects anything that survives its bite. If a normal shark feeds on zombie-infected anything, it turns into a zombie shark as well. Just not as clever a zombie shark as Bruce.
Zombies are among my least favorite subjects for horror and monster movies. They rank just above the gore and torture porn sub-genre of vomitous dreck like Hostel, Saw, and The Human Centipede. I usually avoid zombie movies, but this movie had the sharks.
This is where I warn you that there are...
SPOILERS AHEAD
SPOILERS AHEAD
SPOILERS AHEAD
SPOILERS AHEAD
SPOILERS AHEAD
SPOILERS AHEAD
SPOILERS AHEAD
SPOILERS AHEAD
The movie gets started when four friends take a cheap weekend trip to Redplum Island. We have Jenner [Ross Britz], girlfriend Amber [Cassie Steele], Amber’s kid sister Sophie [Sloane Coe] and well-endowed Bridgette [Becky Andrews]. Talley and Mitchell do a really good job developing these characters and making the human drama as important as the creature drama. Every major character has a story, though some are shorter than others.
Jenner? He’s a hard-working young guy of modest means. He has the respect of Amber and Sophie’s parents. But he’s young and doesn’t have the sense to stay away from the seemingly dead Bruce. When he gets eaten very early on, it becomes clear that Amber is the actual protagonist of the movie.
Amber was the wild older sister. Estranged from her parents since she had a baby at 15 and gave the child up for adaption, her only contact with her parents is through Sophie. Protecting her sister is job one for Amber.
Bridgette is the self-centered bimbo, if only at first glance. She isn’t fearless and self-preservation is her job one. But she isn’t dumb and she isn’t incapable of compassion. Indeed, she meets her end as a result of her trying to rescue a clueless TV reporter from a zombie shark. It’s a cruel moment, one of several in the movie. I’ll get back to the cruelty theme in a bit.
Every main character has their story. Lester [Roger J. Timber] is a “resort” owner on the bad side of Redplum Island, trying to make a go of it. He starts out as comedy relief, but shows some serious spine when things get deadly.
Dr. Diane Palmer [Laura Cayouette] created Bruce by accident. She was trying to create a means to allow soldiers wounded in battle to be tougher and heal faster. Her brother died in Iraq of wounds that would have been treatable had his fellow soldiers been able to get him to a proper hospital in time.
Paul [Carter Burch] is an ex-Marine who went into private security so he could spend more time with his wife and kids. He’s an heroic character, but Amber is the true hero of the film.
This movie is a whole lot better than I expected because of all the great human stories attached to the main story. But I’m not sure I actually like it because of the aforementioned cruelty. However, to explain why, I have to activate the highest warning announcement...
SUPER SPOILERS AHEAD
SUPER SPOILERS AHEAD
SUPER SPOILERS AHEAD
SUPER SPOILERS AHEAD
SUPER SPOILERS AHEAD
SUPER SPOILERS AHEAD
SUPER SPOILERS AHEAD
SUPER SPOILERS AHEAD
Dr. Palmer has developed a serum that can prevent the living from becoming zombies if they survive being bitten by a zombie shark or a human zombie. The plan is to lure the zombie sharks back into the research facility and blow the place up real good, destroying said sharks. With the doctor are Paul, Amber, Sophie and a still-bite-y shark head used to test the serum, which doesn’t work on already dead creatures. The plan works...with a few complications.
Palmer and Sophie go back to retrieve the serum before the base is blown up. Palmer gets bitten by the shark head and tells Sophie to get to the shore with the serum.
The facility blows up and the shock sends Sophie into the water and into the gaping maw of Bruce. The original zombie shark was smart enough not to get caught. This would be tragedy enough for the end of the movie. It gets worse.
Amber lured Bruce on to the beach and kills the shark. Something is still moving inside Bruce.
Shades of Sharknado!
It’s Sophie. Yes, It’s a derivative development, but I like happy endings, so I would have been okay with it.
Except...
When Amber cuts Sophie out of the shark, seemingly rescuing the one person she’d sworn to protect, her kid sister is a zombie. Sophie attacks Amber. To save her own life, Amber must put a knife through her sister’s brain. The serum bottle falls from Sophie’s now-still hand. My heart sank at the cruelty of that final scene.
As I have said, I’m not a fan of zombie movies. Maybe this kind of ending is common in zombie movies. But it soured me on this movie.
SPOILERS OVER
SPOILERS OVER
SPOILERS OVER
SPOILERS OVER
SPOILERS OVER
SPOILERS OVER
SPOILERS OVER
SPOILERS OVER
Zombie Shark is a good movie with some elements that bothered me a great deal. However, it’s an impressive directorial debut for Misty Talley. If she helms another creature feature, I would definitely watch it.
I’ll be back on Thursday with my review of Sharknado 3: Oh Hell No! and, as a bonus, my thoughts on the Archie vs. Sharknado comic book. See you then.
© 2015 Tony Isabella
Written by Greg Mitchell, whose only other solo writing credit is 2014's Snakehead Swamp, the movie’s title creature is “Bruce.” an experimental shark who has escaped from a research lab to feast on people around a small secluded island. Like a typical zombie, it’s come back to life after being killed. It can’t be killed unless its brain is destroyed. It infects anything that survives its bite. If a normal shark feeds on zombie-infected anything, it turns into a zombie shark as well. Just not as clever a zombie shark as Bruce.
Zombies are among my least favorite subjects for horror and monster movies. They rank just above the gore and torture porn sub-genre of vomitous dreck like Hostel, Saw, and The Human Centipede. I usually avoid zombie movies, but this movie had the sharks.
This is where I warn you that there are...
SPOILERS AHEAD
SPOILERS AHEAD
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SPOILERS AHEAD
SPOILERS AHEAD
SPOILERS AHEAD
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SPOILERS AHEAD
The movie gets started when four friends take a cheap weekend trip to Redplum Island. We have Jenner [Ross Britz], girlfriend Amber [Cassie Steele], Amber’s kid sister Sophie [Sloane Coe] and well-endowed Bridgette [Becky Andrews]. Talley and Mitchell do a really good job developing these characters and making the human drama as important as the creature drama. Every major character has a story, though some are shorter than others.
Jenner? He’s a hard-working young guy of modest means. He has the respect of Amber and Sophie’s parents. But he’s young and doesn’t have the sense to stay away from the seemingly dead Bruce. When he gets eaten very early on, it becomes clear that Amber is the actual protagonist of the movie.
Amber was the wild older sister. Estranged from her parents since she had a baby at 15 and gave the child up for adaption, her only contact with her parents is through Sophie. Protecting her sister is job one for Amber.
Bridgette is the self-centered bimbo, if only at first glance. She isn’t fearless and self-preservation is her job one. But she isn’t dumb and she isn’t incapable of compassion. Indeed, she meets her end as a result of her trying to rescue a clueless TV reporter from a zombie shark. It’s a cruel moment, one of several in the movie. I’ll get back to the cruelty theme in a bit.
Every main character has their story. Lester [Roger J. Timber] is a “resort” owner on the bad side of Redplum Island, trying to make a go of it. He starts out as comedy relief, but shows some serious spine when things get deadly.
Dr. Diane Palmer [Laura Cayouette] created Bruce by accident. She was trying to create a means to allow soldiers wounded in battle to be tougher and heal faster. Her brother died in Iraq of wounds that would have been treatable had his fellow soldiers been able to get him to a proper hospital in time.
Paul [Carter Burch] is an ex-Marine who went into private security so he could spend more time with his wife and kids. He’s an heroic character, but Amber is the true hero of the film.
This movie is a whole lot better than I expected because of all the great human stories attached to the main story. But I’m not sure I actually like it because of the aforementioned cruelty. However, to explain why, I have to activate the highest warning announcement...
SUPER SPOILERS AHEAD
SUPER SPOILERS AHEAD
SUPER SPOILERS AHEAD
SUPER SPOILERS AHEAD
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SUPER SPOILERS AHEAD
Dr. Palmer has developed a serum that can prevent the living from becoming zombies if they survive being bitten by a zombie shark or a human zombie. The plan is to lure the zombie sharks back into the research facility and blow the place up real good, destroying said sharks. With the doctor are Paul, Amber, Sophie and a still-bite-y shark head used to test the serum, which doesn’t work on already dead creatures. The plan works...with a few complications.
Palmer and Sophie go back to retrieve the serum before the base is blown up. Palmer gets bitten by the shark head and tells Sophie to get to the shore with the serum.
The facility blows up and the shock sends Sophie into the water and into the gaping maw of Bruce. The original zombie shark was smart enough not to get caught. This would be tragedy enough for the end of the movie. It gets worse.
Amber lured Bruce on to the beach and kills the shark. Something is still moving inside Bruce.
Shades of Sharknado!
It’s Sophie. Yes, It’s a derivative development, but I like happy endings, so I would have been okay with it.
Except...
When Amber cuts Sophie out of the shark, seemingly rescuing the one person she’d sworn to protect, her kid sister is a zombie. Sophie attacks Amber. To save her own life, Amber must put a knife through her sister’s brain. The serum bottle falls from Sophie’s now-still hand. My heart sank at the cruelty of that final scene.
As I have said, I’m not a fan of zombie movies. Maybe this kind of ending is common in zombie movies. But it soured me on this movie.
SPOILERS OVER
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Zombie Shark is a good movie with some elements that bothered me a great deal. However, it’s an impressive directorial debut for Misty Talley. If she helms another creature feature, I would definitely watch it.
I’ll be back on Thursday with my review of Sharknado 3: Oh Hell No! and, as a bonus, my thoughts on the Archie vs. Sharknado comic book. See you then.
© 2015 Tony Isabella
Monday, August 3, 2015
TONY'S TIPS #119
This week in TONY'S TIPS at Tales of Wonder...Sensation Comics featuring Wonder Woman, Sam Maronie's Tripping Through Pop Culture and a new graphic novel adaptation of H. Rider Haggard's King Solomon's Mines by Mark Ellis and Pablo Marcos!
ANT-MAN AND OTHER BUSINESS
Cutting to the chase:
I loved Ant-Man, which my son Eddie and I saw the second weekend of its release. I loved it as much as I loved 2014's Captain America: The Winter Soldier, which it now ties as my favorite Marvel movie. In varying degrees, I have loved all of the Marvel movies produced by Marvel, but Ant-Man spoke to me in a manner that no other Marvel or, for that matter, any comics movie has spoken to me. To explain why, I’ll have to activate the warning alert:
SPOILERS AHEAD
SPOILERS AHEAD
SPOILERS AHEAD
SPOILERS AHEAD
SPOILERS AHEAD
SPOILERS AHEAD
SPOILERS AHEAD
SPOILERS AHEAD
A few days ago, I was discussing super-hero stuff with a comic-book company executive. To support a point I was trying to make, I said to him, “Ant-Man works because so much of it is real: the plight of an ex-con, the distrust of evil CEOs, the grief over lost love, the challenge of raising a child of divorce.”
Paul Rudd is amazing as Scott Lang, a thief seeking redemption and a path to being part of his daughter’s life. He brings considerable humor to the role, but without minimizing his character’s courage, cleverness and, yes, heroism.
As Hank Pym, Michael Douglas shows us why he is one of our favorite actors. We see his determination to prevent a great evil, his grief over the loss of his wife many years before, his fear that he has forever lost his daughter’s love. This Pym has a dark side and, in portraying his character’s fear of that dark side, Douglas elevates Marvel movie acting to a new level.
Corey Stoll does chew some super-villain scenery as Darren Cross, the CEO who would unleash deadly hounds of war on the world to make a fortune and stick it to Pym for not loving him enough. The rest of the main cast is superb...
Evangeline Lilly is smouldering as Hope Pym. She is hard as nails, crazy smart and skilled, devastatingly beautiful.
Judy Greer and Abby Ryder Fortson are adorable as Maggie and Cassie Lang. Bobby Cannavale gives a layered, wonderful performance as Maggie’s fiancé. As a detective, he is at understandable odds with ex-convict Lang, making for some great moments.
Michael Peña, David Dastmalchian and T.I. - love those initials - are terrific as Lang’s partners-in-crime. They are much more than comic relief. I hope we see more of them.
Anthony Mackie has a nice turn as the Falcon. Is it too soon to be asking for him to get his own movie?
Hayley Atwell has a brief role in the movie. Even in make-up that makes her look much older, Agent Peggy Carter is still amazing. She might be the Emma Peel of this generation.
There are four writers on this movie. Edgar Wright, Joe Cornish, Adam McKay and Paul Rudd get screenplay credit. Wright and Cornish get story credit. Wright was the original director, but Peyton Reed is the director of record. I don’t know how the finished version differs from what Wright planned, but I do know the movie as shown is entertaining and excellent. The special effects are astonishing. The movie has action, humor, suspense and that all-important human element. It even has a St. Bernard size ant that Cassie adopts as a pet. How could I not love this movie?
Stan Lee, Larry Lieber and Jack Kirby get credit for creating Ant-Man. A bunch of other Marvel creators get credit for the characters they added to the Marvel comic books they did and who appeared in this movie. That always warms my heart.
SPOILERS OVER
SPOILERS OVER
SPOILERS OVER
SPOILERS OVER
SPOILERS OVER
SPOILERS OVER
SPOILERS OVER
SPOILERS OVER
If you’ve seen Ant-Man, I hope you’re in agreement with my opinion of the movie. If you haven’t, I recommend it highly. I’ll be buying the Blu-ray of the movie as soon as it’s released. It’s a keeper.
Ant-Man returns in Captain America: Civil War.
Tony Isabella returns in the next paragraph.
******************************
Regular blogging resumes today, though there will be days when I’m unable to post because I’m out of town. My current plan, subject to the usual “best laid plans” aspect of life, is to review the rest of the movies that made their SyFy channel debuts during Sharknado 3 week. Next up will be Zombie Shark.
Those reviews will be followed by my embarrassingly late report on Indy Pop Con 2015. I’m thinking that report will stretch out over three or four bloggy things.
After that, having read all the Free Comic Book Day 2015 comics I received, I’ll spend a day or three reviewing them. Those are the big topics on my radar at the moment. I may throw in other topics along the way.
I’ll be attending PulpFest 2015 in Columbus from Thursday, August 13 through Saturday, August 15. The convention continues on Sunday, August 16, but I’ll probably be itching to get back to my writing by that time.
I have several other events on my schedule this year:
October 3-4: Teddy Hanes show in Buffalo
October 16-18: Grand Rapids Comic-Con
October 24: Cleveland Comic Con
November 7-8: Akron Comic Con
There is a slim possibility of a New York show in December, but I am waiting for confirmation from a promoter who hasn’t contacted me since February. I’m not holding my breath.
I don’t like to say “never,” but it would have to be a pretty swell convention and compensation package to get me to add any events to this 2015 schedule. I have too many projects on my desk right now to take any more days off.
Black Lighting and DC Comics news? Nothing to see here.
My various discussions with DC Comics are ongoing and positive. I remain guardedly optimistic. But, if there are announcements to be made, they will almost certainly be announced by DC. Including any word on my pitch to write a Batman mini-series in which the Caped Crusader must battle a collective of all the gorilla villains that have appeared in DC comic books past and present. I’m pretty sure I’m just kidding about that last bit, but who knows what madness I am capable of?
I also remain enormously gratified by and grateful for all the fan and professional support for Black Lightning and myself. It’s been a long struggle and many of you have been with me from the start. Thank you.
I’ll be back tomorrow with more stuff.
I loved Ant-Man, which my son Eddie and I saw the second weekend of its release. I loved it as much as I loved 2014's Captain America: The Winter Soldier, which it now ties as my favorite Marvel movie. In varying degrees, I have loved all of the Marvel movies produced by Marvel, but Ant-Man spoke to me in a manner that no other Marvel or, for that matter, any comics movie has spoken to me. To explain why, I’ll have to activate the warning alert:
SPOILERS AHEAD
SPOILERS AHEAD
SPOILERS AHEAD
SPOILERS AHEAD
SPOILERS AHEAD
SPOILERS AHEAD
SPOILERS AHEAD
SPOILERS AHEAD
A few days ago, I was discussing super-hero stuff with a comic-book company executive. To support a point I was trying to make, I said to him, “Ant-Man works because so much of it is real: the plight of an ex-con, the distrust of evil CEOs, the grief over lost love, the challenge of raising a child of divorce.”
Paul Rudd is amazing as Scott Lang, a thief seeking redemption and a path to being part of his daughter’s life. He brings considerable humor to the role, but without minimizing his character’s courage, cleverness and, yes, heroism.
As Hank Pym, Michael Douglas shows us why he is one of our favorite actors. We see his determination to prevent a great evil, his grief over the loss of his wife many years before, his fear that he has forever lost his daughter’s love. This Pym has a dark side and, in portraying his character’s fear of that dark side, Douglas elevates Marvel movie acting to a new level.
Corey Stoll does chew some super-villain scenery as Darren Cross, the CEO who would unleash deadly hounds of war on the world to make a fortune and stick it to Pym for not loving him enough. The rest of the main cast is superb...
Evangeline Lilly is smouldering as Hope Pym. She is hard as nails, crazy smart and skilled, devastatingly beautiful.
Judy Greer and Abby Ryder Fortson are adorable as Maggie and Cassie Lang. Bobby Cannavale gives a layered, wonderful performance as Maggie’s fiancé. As a detective, he is at understandable odds with ex-convict Lang, making for some great moments.
Michael Peña, David Dastmalchian and T.I. - love those initials - are terrific as Lang’s partners-in-crime. They are much more than comic relief. I hope we see more of them.
Anthony Mackie has a nice turn as the Falcon. Is it too soon to be asking for him to get his own movie?
Hayley Atwell has a brief role in the movie. Even in make-up that makes her look much older, Agent Peggy Carter is still amazing. She might be the Emma Peel of this generation.
There are four writers on this movie. Edgar Wright, Joe Cornish, Adam McKay and Paul Rudd get screenplay credit. Wright and Cornish get story credit. Wright was the original director, but Peyton Reed is the director of record. I don’t know how the finished version differs from what Wright planned, but I do know the movie as shown is entertaining and excellent. The special effects are astonishing. The movie has action, humor, suspense and that all-important human element. It even has a St. Bernard size ant that Cassie adopts as a pet. How could I not love this movie?
Stan Lee, Larry Lieber and Jack Kirby get credit for creating Ant-Man. A bunch of other Marvel creators get credit for the characters they added to the Marvel comic books they did and who appeared in this movie. That always warms my heart.
SPOILERS OVER
SPOILERS OVER
SPOILERS OVER
SPOILERS OVER
SPOILERS OVER
SPOILERS OVER
SPOILERS OVER
SPOILERS OVER
If you’ve seen Ant-Man, I hope you’re in agreement with my opinion of the movie. If you haven’t, I recommend it highly. I’ll be buying the Blu-ray of the movie as soon as it’s released. It’s a keeper.
Ant-Man returns in Captain America: Civil War.
Tony Isabella returns in the next paragraph.
******************************
Regular blogging resumes today, though there will be days when I’m unable to post because I’m out of town. My current plan, subject to the usual “best laid plans” aspect of life, is to review the rest of the movies that made their SyFy channel debuts during Sharknado 3 week. Next up will be Zombie Shark.
Those reviews will be followed by my embarrassingly late report on Indy Pop Con 2015. I’m thinking that report will stretch out over three or four bloggy things.
After that, having read all the Free Comic Book Day 2015 comics I received, I’ll spend a day or three reviewing them. Those are the big topics on my radar at the moment. I may throw in other topics along the way.
I’ll be attending PulpFest 2015 in Columbus from Thursday, August 13 through Saturday, August 15. The convention continues on Sunday, August 16, but I’ll probably be itching to get back to my writing by that time.
I have several other events on my schedule this year:
October 3-4: Teddy Hanes show in Buffalo
October 16-18: Grand Rapids Comic-Con
October 24: Cleveland Comic Con
November 7-8: Akron Comic Con
There is a slim possibility of a New York show in December, but I am waiting for confirmation from a promoter who hasn’t contacted me since February. I’m not holding my breath.
I don’t like to say “never,” but it would have to be a pretty swell convention and compensation package to get me to add any events to this 2015 schedule. I have too many projects on my desk right now to take any more days off.
Black Lighting and DC Comics news? Nothing to see here.
My various discussions with DC Comics are ongoing and positive. I remain guardedly optimistic. But, if there are announcements to be made, they will almost certainly be announced by DC. Including any word on my pitch to write a Batman mini-series in which the Caped Crusader must battle a collective of all the gorilla villains that have appeared in DC comic books past and present. I’m pretty sure I’m just kidding about that last bit, but who knows what madness I am capable of?
I also remain enormously gratified by and grateful for all the fan and professional support for Black Lightning and myself. It’s been a long struggle and many of you have been with me from the start. Thank you.
I’ll be back tomorrow with more stuff.
© 2015 Tony Isabella
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