THE COMPLETE FUNKY WINKERBEAN VOLUME 3

Tom Batiuk, friend of the bloggy thing and fellow Medina resident, came over the other day to bring me a copy of The Complete Funky Winkerbean Volume 3 1978-1980 [Kent State University Press; $45], which collects the daily and Sunday strips from those years.  This volume's introduction is by Joe Walsh of the Eagles.  It'll be a while before I read and review this book, but I wanted to let you know it was available.  Go for it!

TONY AND BOB’S L.A. ADVENTURES

Previously:

Guided by Bob “Travel Yoda” Ingersoll, your bloggy correspondent journeyed from the Ice Planet Ohio to Disneyland and Los Angeles. I have told you of our weekend in Disneyland.  The saga now resumes as we depart the realm of the Mouse...

Los Angeles in January, at least this January, meant mornings and evenings that could become quite chilly.  Surrounded by mountains, the city would heat up quickly once the sun came up.  By the time Bob and I left Disneyland on Sunday morning (January 12), it wasn’t  too cool or too hot.

The plan for the week was to relax and visit friends we just don’t get to see often enough.  The gossip-lovers among you will likely be disappointed by my refusal to relate conversations, business or otherwise, of a personal nature.  Too bad.  I know and have always known stuff that would turn Rich Johnston’s hair white with horror. People tell stuff because I can keep a confidence.  It’s one of the reasons my friends love me and my enemies, if I actually have any enemies worth noting, quake with fear at the mention of my name. I chuckle menacingly and move on.

We stopped for breakfast at Swingers on Beverly Boulevard.  Great food, reasonable prices, cute waitress who look just edgy enough to be sexy.  Thirty years ago, I wouldn’t have remember how good the food was.  I would just have remembered the waitresses.  Even so, I had a dream that night that our waitress had moved to Medina to sell real estate, become besties with Sainted Wife Barb, and was at one of our cookout talking available properties with neighbors. All while wearing what she wore at Swingers.  I have no idea what this dream means.

We stayed at the Hilton Los Angeles/Universal City, which was one hideous hilly walk or one comfortable shuttle ride away from City Walk.  Bob had worked his travel mojo to score us a virtually free hotel room for the week with free continental breakfast and happy hour drink/appetizer each day.

I love Universal City Walk.  It has lots of cool shops and places to eat.  We ate at Pink’s twice because, even though this was not *the* famous Pink’s location, they still served a damn spiffy hot dog.  I had Betty White’s Naked Dog, named after the show-business legend.  Amazingly, the Pink’s staff did not know Betty’s birthday was January 17 until we told them.

Among the many shops in Universal City Walk is Things From Another World, a comics store which I believe is owned by Mike Richardson, president and publisher of Dark Horse Comics.  The shop is a little too cozy for my comfort, but it’s immaculately clean, filled with cool items and well-staffed.  I wonder what kind of clientele the store attracts. Does it have loyal customers who show up every week on new comics day? Does it do a lot of tourist business? It didn’t seem appropriate for me to ask these questions of the workers who were in the store while I was there, but I might ask Richardson if we cross paths at a convention.

I did quite a bit of shopping at Upstart Crow, which specializes in fun souvenir items.  I wanted to bring back something for Sainted Wife Barb, but I couldn’t find that one special item at Disneyland. Instead, I got her several cool gifts from Upstart Crow.  We know Barb is easy to please - she’s stayed married to be for just under 30 years and counting - but she definitely seemed to get a kick out of the Upstart Crow knickknacks I gave her.

Sunday night, Bob and I headed over to Mark Evanier’s house for an evening of amazing stories from maybe the most knowledgeable guy I know who doesn’t work for the NSA. We talked about It’s a Mad Mad Mad Mad World, Garfield, old projects, new projects, friends and a whole lot more.

For dinner, we went to Canter's Delicatessen on Fairfax.  This is Mark’s favorite deli, which he’s written about it several times in his “News From Me” blog.  Canter’s lives up to the boasts found on its website:

Canter's offers an authentic deli-style experience, unparalleled anywhere on the West Coast. Our endless menu is full of breakfast, lunch and dinner menu items available 24 hours a day. Fresh baked goods are available from our bakery. A full bar and Cocktail Lounge is open 10:30 am-1:40 am.

The website also makes these claims:

Canter’s Deli has been a Los Angeles landmark since 1931! Over the years, Canter's has sold over:

2 Million Pounds of Lox
10 Million Pounds of Corned Beef
7 Million Pounds of Pastrami
10 Million Matzo Balls
24 Million Bowls of Chicken Soup

I had the chicken soup, which was truly wonderful, and an egg salad sandwich, which was only so-so.  But the rye bread on the sandwich was terrific.  I could probably live off the various fresh breads and other baked goods Canter’s offers.  I’d double my weight in two months, but I would be a happy lump.

Bob and I did a lot of kicking around Los Angeles and a lot of just taking it easy at the hotel.  We went to the Farmers Market a few times.  The esteemed Evanier describes it as “a touristy assemblage of stores, eateries and markets.” It was a huge dairy farm in the 1880s, a sports stadium around the turn of the century, an actual farmers’ produce market in the early 1930s, a baseball stadium in 1939 and started becoming the Farmers Market as we know it in 1948. It’s a popular tourist attraction and has been declared a “Historic Cultural Monument.”

I love the place, which is located at 3rd and Fairfax.  It has so many cool places to eat that, were I ever to relocated to L.A., I’d want to live within walking distance of it. I recommend Charlie’s Coffee Shop, which serves up great meals for breakfast, lunch and dinner.  I think Bob and I ate there twice during our week in Los Angeles. 

Another favorite place was Westfield Century City Centre, which is an enormous mall with the biggest and nicest food court I’ve ever seen in a mall.  On our visits there, I ate at Joe’s Pizza and The Juicy Bird.  Yeah, those were obvious and risk-free options, but I was literally dazzled and confused at how many great choices were available to me.  I’m far from a “foodie” of any kind and I need to avoid spicy foods, but, if I were ever in Los Angeles for a longer stay, I’d try to work my way through every restaurant and vendor at both the Farmers Market and this mall.

What would get me to Los Angeles for an extended stay?  Maybe if I were working on a movie or TV show of my dreams. I’ll leave it to your imaginations as to what those might be.

One last restaurant recommendation before I wrap this up for today. Mark Evanier thinks Vito’s Pizza at 846 North La Cienega Boulevard has the best pizza in the world.  He’s immortalized it in many of the Garfield cartoons he’s written and produced.  Bob and I knew we had to check it out.

Vito’s Pizza may not be the best pizza in the world.  I can think of some pizza places I’ve liked more.  But it’s a contender.  I’m not surprised Garfield loves it so.

For some reason, I’m really hungry now.  Come back on Tuesday and I promise there will be much less talk of food and much more talk about visiting Stan Lee and other celebrities.  See you then.

© 2014 Tony Isabella

THE LAW IS A ASS RETURNS!

From ComixMix...


THE LAW IS A ASS On ComicMix Bob Ingersoll Joins Columnist Roster

Can a super-villain be tried and found not guilty by reason of insanity? How does one legally define sanity when talking about a person who dresses up in ridiculous costumes and spends a fortune on weapons just to steal money?

These and other questions have been asked and answered for decades by Bob Ingersoll,in his weekly column, “The Law Is a Ass.” Starting Friday, February 14, 2014, Ingersoll brings his wit and expertise to ComicMix.

Bob was already a licensed attorney with the Cuyahoga County Public Defender Office in Cleveland when he first started to write about how the law works in comic books for The Comics Buyers Guide. He has also written comics, including House of Mystery, The Green Hornet, Moon Knight, Mickey Mouse, and Star Trek, and his prose work includes several short stories and novels.

Why does he do this? As he says in his first ComicMix column, “I think those who write comic book stories should research how the law works, so that they can portray it as accurately as possible in their stories. And that’s why I write my column, the raison d'être of my column.”

ComicMix publishes a line of graphic novels by some of the best new and established talent in the industry. In addition, it runs one of the Internet’s most popular pop culture news sites.

THE OTHER ISABELLA BLOGGER

In his "Blog of the Rising Sun," my son Ed writes about Atlantis the Lost Empire and Patriocracy.

TONY'S TIPS #42

This week in "Tony's Tips" at Tales of Wonder...I review Day Men, The Best of Comix Book and an issue of Back Issue starring the Hulk.

TAKING A FEW DAYS OFF

It's a frigid February in Medina, Ohio. I have a couple of paying gigs on my desk, various odds and ends that need attending to and the seasonal aches and pains that beset an old fart like me from time to time.  I'll be back with new bloggy things before the end of the week.

BIG ASS SPIDER

Director Mike Mendez had to fight for the name Big Ass Spider! The  original screenplay for this 2013 movie was titled Dino Spider and the distributors wanted to call it Mega Spider because they didn’t think Mendez’s preferred title was marketable.  Mendez was right. I wanted to see Big Ass Spider! from the moment I heard that title. I didn’t really care if the movie was good or not.  I just had to see any movie titled Big Ass Spider!  Fortunately, it turns out to be a solid and solidly entertaining B-movie.

The basic plot is a familiar one. Crazy military men and scientists mess around with an alien spider.  It escapes, ends up in the body of a victim sent to a Los Angeles hospital by mistakes and escapes from there.  It gets bigger and bigger.  The head scientist wants to capture it alive.  Eventually, though not until Old Big Ass has racked up many victims and done a King Kong climb on a skyscraper, the military parts philosophic company with the scientist.

Greg Grunberg plays Alex Mathis, an exterminator who’s very good at his job and not so good at running a business.  One elderly client pays him in fruitcakes.  When he gets bitten by a non-alien spider, he goes to the hospital where the alien spider was sent.  At this point, no one at the hospital knows the true nature of that spider.  Alex barters his exterminator services against his emergency room bill. The deal is struck.

With security guard Jose Ramos (Lombardo Boyar), Alex tracks down the spider.  He has a decent shot at getting it when the military shows up and allows the creature to escape into the sewer system.  The most notable members of the military are the great Ray Wise as Major Braxton Tanner and Clare Kramer as Lieutenant Karly Brant.  You may remember Kramer as “Glory” from Buffy the Vampire Slayer. I don’t normally comment on the physical appearance of actors, but Kramer, who was gorgeous as Glory, looks beautiful, fit and feisty as Karly. She owns the part of a tough soldier.

You can probably see where this plot is going. Spider gets bigger. People die. Alex and Jose are heroic.  Sparks fly between Alex and Karly.  Things get so bad the military is considering bombing Los Angeles.  In this movie, the excitement starts early on and seldom slows down enough for the viewer to take a breath.  It’s one of the best B-movies I’ve seen in recent years.

Mendez directs the hell out of this picture, which more than lives up to my pre-viewing anticipation.  Grunberg and Kramer are great in their roles.  Boyar drifts into stereotype every now and then, but his character is such a brave sidekick I could overlook that. This is a honestly thrilling adventure with a good sense of humor, right up to the hilarious punch line Wise delivers at the very end of the movie.

Big Ass Spider! is a keeper.  I recommend it to anyone who enjoys giant monster movies even half as much as I do.

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Diving back into less-than-classic shark movies...

The sharks aren’t the scariest things in Shark Attack (1999).  In fact, they barely make my list of the top three scariest things in the made-for-TV movie.  Here’s the scoop:

Sharks are going wild near an African coastal town.  The frequency of the attacks have driven away tourists and devastated the local fishing industry.  The only going concern is a scientific research center researching...sharks.

SPOILERS AHEAD
SPOILERS AHEAD
SPOILERS AHEAD

Hero Casper Van Dien comes to the South African town to look into the death-by-shark of his friend.  Jenny McShane is the sister of his friend.  Bentley Mitchum is Dr. Miles Craven - really, that’s the character’s name - a mad-not-all-bad scientist breeding mutant sharks in the hope their cells will lead to a cure to cancer.  He’s so driven to succeed and reap the fame and wealth of this discovery that he tests his drug on human patients.

Ernie Hudson is the scariest thing in the movie.  He’s the mayor of the town, but secretly plotting to ruin it and buy up the property of his impoverished constituents so he can sell the whole kit-and-caboodle to investors.  He chews more scenery than the sharks chew people.

Two corrupt policeman are the second scariest thing in the movie. They do Hudson’s dirty work, whether its setting up devices which drive the sharks crazy with hunger or feeding anyone who threatens Hudson’s plans to said sharks.

The sharks come in a distant third.  While there is one genuinely scary and realistic attack on a tourist dangling her foot over the side of the boat, most of the close-up shark attacks betray their rubber origins.  Though these sharks appear often enough to remind viewers they exist, human evil drives this story. Not that it’s a particularly riveting story.

Unless you’re on an insane quest to watch every crappy shark movie you can find - I’m well aware of my mania, thank you - Shark Attack isn’t worth watching.  Yet, somehow, someone looked at this movie and said, let’s make Shark Attack 2.

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Shark Attack 2 (2000) was a direct-to-video production.  I suspect it wasn’t conceived as a sequel to the first Shark Attack and that it may have started out as a different film that what it eventually became.  There’s a single mention of Doctor Craven’s mutant sharks and that the sharks in this movie might be their offspring, but the conversation strikes me as a afterthought.

SPOILERS AHEAD
SPOILERS AHEAD
SPOILERS AHEAD

Shark Attack 2 starts out with one big shark that eats the sister of Samantha Peterson (Nikita Ager) while the siblings are diving. Samantha manages to stab the shark in the eye before it has her for dessert, but can’t kill the beast.

The shark heads for a resort area and threatens the opening of the area’s Sea World knock-off.  Marine biologist Nick Harris (Thorsten Kaye) captures the shark. Against Nick’s better judgment, the shark becomes a live exhibit at “Water World” and promptly eats a worker in front of an audience before escaping. Harris manages to tag the shark with a GPS tracker, but keeps that information to himself on account of he’s a dumbass.

Though the Water World owner caused this debacle by ignoring Nick’s instructions, he puts the blame on Nick, fires him and hires Roy Bishop (Dan Metcalfe), a dick-ish Crocodile Dundee type to kill the shark. Nick and Samantha team up to get the shark first. The mayor doesn’t want to close the beaches.  At this point, we only have one shark and a movie alarmingly close to Jaws sans likeable characters like Brody and Hooper.

Well into the movie, it’s discovered there are a school of sharks  living in an underwater cave and hunting as a pack.  As there was no evidence or suspicion of this in the shark’s earlier attacks, I think this is where the movie shifts gears. In time for the sharks to eat Roy’s cameramen.  The mayor still doesn’t want to close the beaches. The Water World owner assures the mayor that patrols and a shark net can keep the beaches safe for the big surfing contest. What could possibly go wrong?

One theft of a Jaws scene and several gory deaths by laughable prop sharks later, Nick, Samantha and Roy team up to kill the sharks in their cave.  The trio develop the mutant power to talk underwater, which certainly helps ratchet up the suspense when things go wrong and the one-eyed shark wants another taste of the Peterson family. The good guys win, another Jaws scene gets ripped off, Samantha and Nick makes plans to fornicate.

Shark Attack 2 might be worse than Shark Attack, but it must have made somebody a few dollars because it gave birth to two sequels, Shark Attack 3: Megalodon (2002) and Shark Zone (2003). Yes, I will eventually watch and review those movies as well.  Why can’t any of you see this is a pathetic cry for help?

I’ll be back tomorrow to resume my Los Angeles report with name-dropping guest appearances by Mark Evanier, Stan Lee, and others.

© 2014 Tony Isabella