I have a doctor's appointment on Friday. To prepare for it, I was asked questions on several subjects. When it came to questions about my anxiety levels, my answers alarmed me. I am feeling anxiety every single day of my life.
One of the main causes is the relentless attacks on trans people from the Republicans and too many Democrats. Every choice I make, from what to wear and where I'm safe presenting as my authentic self and what restroom to use, is informed by all the dangers around me.
Every day, I try to push past the anxiety to do what I must do. I usually succeed. Not always. Some days it hits so hard it causes physical pain. Yesterday was one such day.
Today I have an appointment with my MetroHealth gender clinic doctor and an OutSupport Medina adults meeting. I'll wear a business appropriate dress for the former and a fun Halloween dress for the latter. The locations themselves are safe spaces. Traveling to them, who can say?
In so many ways, I'm fortunate. I'm wrapping up a project for a major publisher. I have a safe home with no food insecurities or other concerns. I have interesting things ahead of me, including Akron Comic-Con. But all it takes is one MAGA maniac to decide that I don't deserve to exist.
If you vote MAGA, you are one of those maniacs. You are okay with crooks and pedophiles, racists and rapists,You think every immigrant is an illegal immigrant and deserving of brutality. You aren't concerned if U.S. citizens are arrested, beaten and even killed. Until it happens to you, of course.
You see a demented pervert tearing apart Washington D.C. because he doesn't think he will ever not be president and you don't care. You don't even care that he and his family have made billions by using his office for profit.
I don't know what's wrong with your brains and souls if you are a MAGA supporter. I know I don't want you in my life. I know that I will be secretly happy if bad things happen to you and, in some cases, publicly happy.
Love the queer people in your lives. We bring so much to this country and the world. Your lives will be diminished if we are erased. And, eventually, they will come for you. Because Trump Republicans will always need some group to demonize. Your fear gives them power.
I didn't sleep well last night. I'm going back to bed right now, hoping that I am so exhausted than I will pass out.
