I will be getting the Bill Finger Award for Excellence in Comic Book Writing at this year’s San Diego Comic-Con International. My late friend Martin Pasko will also be receiving the award. “As is always the case, the judges considered many nominations that were submitted to us and we picked two that stood out as the right choices,” chairman, writer and historian Mark Evanier remarked. “Both writers met our criteria of having generated a large and significant body of work that hasn’t received proper recognition and probably not proper compensation.”
I am thrilled to received this award, especially since it will be my first SDCC presenting as my authentic self. The convention has been wonderfully supportive and welcoming to me. I’ll have much more to say about that in a near-future bloggy. However, on this day, there’s something else I want to write about.
Transitioning is seldom an easy journey. There are many pitfalls along the way. Like many trans people, I’m harder on myself than I should be. Everybody fails at something along the way, but it is important to give oneself the grace to fail and put whatever that failure was in the rear-view mirror.
My master plan was to present almost exclusively as Jenny as of May 16. Barb and our kids were leaving for an Alaskan cruise and would be gone for ten days. I would take them to the airport in Tony mode and then live mostly as Jenny. I figured the ten days would allow me to adjust to this change and be confident when I picked them up at the airport.
I want to add that they knew this was my plan and also that I’d be in Tony mode when I picked them up and, at other times when it seemed prudent to do so. When I drive to Chicago for G-Fest and when Barb and I fly to San Diego for Comic-Con, I’ll present (as best I can) as Tony. It will be less complicated and safer that way. I know the outside world isn’t as supportive of me as the comics community has been.
Almost immediately, I found it difficult to present as Jenny on a full-time basis. I ended up seriously overthinking every place I planned to go. I was anxious about possible danger to my well-being. I stayed home more than I’d intended. In short, my master plan was an abject failure. I’m still presenting as Tony most of the time, something that depresses me more than I can convey in words.
I did present as Jenny when I went out with friends. I went out on the night of May 16 to celebrate what we called “J-Day” and even received a bouquet of flowers from my friends. I went to Jane’s Diner for breakfast a few days later. But, before I went inside to meet my friend Jess, I sat in my SUV and cased the street for any possible danger. This doubt and uncertainty is no way to live my life. I failed. But I will not allow it to be a permanent failure.
I’m working my way to presenting as Jenny full-time. I will do so at both G-Fest and Comic-Con. I will go to a movie theater as Jenny. I’ll shop as Jenny. I’ll go to my medical appointments as Jenny. Working my way to being myself full-time.
I already go to the incredible Carol & John’s Comics as Jenny. I go to my gender therapy as Jenny. I go to my OutSupport Medina meetings as Jenny.
The journey to being myself is not an easy one. But the joy that I feel when I am presenting as Jenny gives me strength. I’ve been told you can see it in my face. If I fail again, I’ll pick myself up and try again.
Failure happens. Permanent failure is not an option.
I have failed in other aspects of my current life. Without going into detail, I didn’t meet most of the goals I set for myself in the month of May. I didn’t post things that made my happy every day. Which is why this list is so short.
Brief as they are, here are the things that made me happy in the difficult month of May...
May 1: Lavender Jack by Dan Schkade and Jenn Manley Lee. Queer comics are among the most interesting stories in recent years. This adventure mystery of a dashing vigilante seeking justice in a corrupt city-state is one of the best.
May 2: My terrific artist has begun drawing the first issue of my new trans super-hero comic book. We’ll be doing a Kickstarter to publish it, but, until that campaign goes live, I’m open to talking to interested publishing partners.
May 3: Fueled by a bout of nostalgic memories about how large the chain had once loomed in my life, I read Built to Fail: The Inside Story of Blockbuster’s Inevitable Bust by Alan Payne. The tale of the chain’s amazing rise and even more amazing demise is riveting. Recommended.
May 4: Pop Culture Jeopardy is back on Netflix with Colin Jost as host. It’s even more fun than previously with two-person teams instead of the unwieldy three-person teams of the initial season and I get more questions right than with the original Jeopardy.
May 5: Fantastic Four #5 (January 2026) by Ryan North & Humberto Ramos. While the FF boys are fishing in the Negative Zone, Sue tackles a murder mystery. A fun adventure guest-starring the Black Cat.
May 6: Serendipity and pizza. When I ordered food from Johnny Malloy’s here in Medina, the guy who took the order knew exactly where to deliver it. Because he comes to my garage sales during the summer. I hope he puts the tip to good use.
May 7: Asumi-chan is Interested in Lesbian Brothels! Volume 2 by Kuro Itsuki. Sexy and sweet in equal measure, the tale continues with Asumi still in search of her childhood friend. The content is explicit, but so is the charm and warmth.
May 8: Batman/Superman World’s Finest #40 (August 2025) by Mark Waid and Adrian Gutierrez. Perry White. Jim Gordon. An asshole podcaster. A giant monster. A giant Batman mecha. You can always count on this title for a fun read,
I’m doing much better posting joyful things this month. My next “things” bloggy should get me back to posting some joyful thing every day. Thanks for your patience.
I’ll be back soon with more stuff.
© 2026 Tony Isabella
No comments:
Post a Comment