SANTA: It's not just the "dark" that annoys me. It's the "depressing" and "insane" stuff. So why don't you just run along to your Batcave and drink a big glass of go fuck yourself while the rest of us enjoy the holidays.
BATMAN: I have plans to deal with you and all other holiday symbols if you go bad.
SANTA: This is why we can't have nice DC comic books.
BATMAN: What can I do to change my fate, o ghost of Christmas past?
SANTA: There's that "insane" part kicking in again. Look, why not just head over to Tony Isabella's place? He's still under the weather, but he'll be watching episodes of the 1966 Batman series on his Blu-ray player. You could use a good dose of Adam West.
BATMAN: Will there be cookies?
SANTA: "sigh" Yes, there will be cookies. But you won't be able to enjoy them unless you ungrit your teeth.
BATMAN: Hey, that's on the artists. Do you think I like looking like I have to take a dump 24/7?
SANTA: You made a funny! There may be hope for you yet.
BATMAN: Merry Christmas, Santa!
SANTA: Merry Christmas, Bruce.
TONY: And Godzilla bless us everyone!