Sunday, December 23, 2018

HO-HO-HORROR: SILENT NIGHT

This is the final entry in my 2018 War on Christmas holiday horror film marathon. Silent Night (2012) is a kind of sort of reboot of the classic Silent Night, Deadly Night (1984), which I wrote about in 2016. I’ll be providing links to that review and my reviews of the original movie’s four sequels later in today’s bloggy thing.

Directed by Steven C. Miller with a screenplay by Jayson Rothwell, the movie stars Malcolm McDowell going big as a small-city sheriff determined to catch the city’s Santa Claus cosplayer serial killer without bringing in state or federal law enforcement. He claims he doesn’t want to ruin the town’s annual Christmas Eve Santa Claus Parade, but it’s clear early on that he wants more to his cop life than writing parking tickets.

Jaime King plays Aubrey Bradimore, a new-to-the-force deputy still dealing with the unexpected death of her husband. Her father [John B. Lowe] is a retired police officer and one of the Santa Clauses competing in the parade. Aubrey has doubts about her ability to do the job, but her father is encouraging.

The movie is rated “R” for bloody violence, some sexuality/nudity, language and brief drug use. There is a lot of gore in this movie. I’ll give you some specifics in a bit.

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Our murderous Santa’s first two victims are a police officer who’s cheating with a married woman. The cop is wrapped in Christmas tree lights and electrocuted. The woman is dismembered, though we don’t see that on screen.

Because of the thought-to-be-missing-but-actually-well-done cop, Aubrey has to come into work on Christmas Eve. Before she leaves her parents’ house, the camera lingers on a mysterious small wrapped gift that is mysterious because the camera lingers on it. Several other gift boxes of the same size and type will also be seen throughout this movie. We don’t discover what’s in them until nearer the end of the carnage. Spoiler: lumps of coal.

Initially, it seems the Santa slaughter is confined to people who have been naughty. A bratty teenage girl. People filming soft core porn at a local motel. The model for the porn escapes through the window, but Santa chops off her leg and tosses her feet first into a wood chipper. This is where we learn the town’s cops are really bad at being cops.

A video camera found at the motel shows the porn shoot, the deaths of two porn people and the model. The cops never go looking for the model. Indeed, they never mention her again. Escaping the carnage because she left before the slaying Santa showed up is the mayor’s slutty daughter. It’s pretty easy to spot the future victims here.

To the movie’s credit, we get some great red herrings. Donal Logue plays a traveling Santa, the worse non-serial killer Santa you can imagine. Mike O’Brian plays drug dealer and Santa cosplayer Stein Karsson. Curtis Moore plays a pervert preacher who tries to put the moves on the grieving Aubrey and takes photographs of the cleavage of the mayor’s daughter and other well-endowed Christmas carolers.

Aubrey is the most competent of the cops, but she’s slow to put it all together. From the drug dealer, she learns of an past incident years ago in another town. The husband of a woman cheating on him donned a Santa outfit and a flame thrower to get revenge on her and her lover. Aubrey’s investigation reveals other Christmas killings and that Logue’s traveling Santa was in the same town as at least one of them.

One by one, the suspects are eliminated. Aubrey shoots the dealer when he pulls a gun on her. When she spots his mysterious gift, she figures out the killer Santa is targeting his victims. She calls it in, but stops to check on her dad first. Sadly, the serial killer got there first. Which confuses Aubrey since he knows her dad was a good cop and man.

The killer gets to the police station well before Aubrey. By now, it seems Santa is going after more people than just those who could reasonably be considered naughty. He doesn’t like police officers or even clerical police workers either.

The climax is flamboyant, as in actual flames. Aubrey gets knocked around by Santa, but, when things looks bleak, she gets hold of his flamethrower and cooks him. She manages to rescue a clerical worker as the station burns down around them. We get a shot of the killer’s Santa hat, mask and beard. He has managed to escape.

The now badly-scarred killer leaves the town in his truck. We get a flashback explaining why he targeted Aubrey’s dad and other cops. The killer was the son of the earlier killer with the flamethrower and has been hiding in a truck when his father was killed. Aubrey’s dad was the officer who stopped that first killer by firing at him and igniting the flamethrower’s tanks. This is pretty much the origin of Batman. Just kidding.

The survival of both Aubrey and the killer seemed to set the stage for a sequel. Which doesn’t seem to be coming any time soon if at all. Probably for the best.

One more thing. Beyond the now-cliched Santa with an axe slaughter, two scenes mimic scenes in the original Silent Night, Deadly Night. In the original, the young man who will grow up to be the killer is visiting his non-responsive grandfather in a nursing home. Gramps suddenly and scarily wakes up to tell his grandson how Santa will kill any child who has been naughty even once. He tells the young lad to run before he lapses back into immobility and silence. That scene is repeated in this movie, albeit with the boyfriend of the mayor’s daughter. As in the original, the boyfriend is the only one present when Gramps gets all talky.

Later in the film, the mayor’s daughter gets impaled on the antlers  of a mounted deer. The same thing happened in the original movie, but with the much more attractive Linnea Quigley.

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Before we get to my final thoughts on Silent Night, here are links to my reviews on the original movie and its sequels.

Silent Night, Deadly Night [1984]
Silent Night, Deadly Night Part 2 [1987]
Silent Night, Deadly Night 3: Better Watch Out! [1989]
Silent Night, Deadly Night 4: Initiation [1990]
Silent Night, Deadly Night 5: The Toy Maker [1991]

I enjoyed Silent Night. McDowell was fun to watch. King, Logue and  O’Brian gave excellent performances. The red herrings were something we don’t see often or as well done in other slasher movies. I did think the gore was over the top, but understand that’s actually an attraction for some viewers. If there’s a sequel, I’d likely watch it. But I don’t need to see this movie again.

Silent Night was made on a budget of five million dollars. I don’t think it turned a profit. Rotten Tomatoes’ “Tomatometer” rates it at 64% with an audience score of 33%. The Internet Movie Database users have it at 5.2 stars.

I’d planned to do two more ho-ho-horror movie review, but I ran out of Christmas cheer after seeing blackface in one of the films and watching a trailer for the other that did nothing for me. Comet TV recently showed To All a Goodnight (1980) and I recorded the film. I’ll probably watch and write about it in the near future as part of a bloggy thing on that network’s movies.

I’m already planning next year’s War on Christmas movie marathon. How many different Krampus films have been made? I suspect I’ll be finding out in the New Year.

Thanks for joining me for this holiday madness. I’ll be back soon with more stuff.

© 2018 Tony Isabella

           

Saturday, December 22, 2018

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME

I am 67 years old today. My life isn’t perfect, but I do not doubt that I have it better than so many others in my industry, my nation and the world. I am well aware of how blessed I am.

I have a loving family and friends. I have the respect of so many people in the comics industry. I have the knowledge that I created characters and stories that mean a great deal to many people...and I am aware of the great responsibility that comes with creating an iconic character like Black Lightning. No matter how much it might annoy some folks at a certain large comics publishing outfit, I’ve no intention of ever forgoing that responsibility.

I have a body of work of which I am proud. I know I can continue to produce good work for a good many years to come. With an exception here and there, I don’t know what form that work will take. What I do know that I'll continue writing as long as I can give the work 100%. I expect to be writing for many years to come.

My birthday has turned into a two-day celebration. This is mostly due to the demands of the holiday season. That Jesus kid is such an attention diva. But he’s got his good qualities, too.

Yesterday, my son Eddie took me to see Aquaman and it is a wondrous movie. Great characters, messages and story. I didn’t even realize it ran two and a half hours until I read my pal Mike Sangiacomo’s review in The (Cleveland) Plain Dealer.

Yesterday evening, Saintly Wife Barb, Eddie and Kelly had a variety of food from one of our local pizza places. Eddie paid for my first year of the DC Universe streaming service - which needs a lot more Black Lightning - and set it up on our smart TV. There will clearly be some binge-watching in my future.

Today, I am overwhelmed by all the birthday greetings I’m getting online and elsewhere. Wow!

Tonight, when she gets home from work, Barb has some more presents for me to open. Eddie and Kelly may drop by as well.

My birthday present to myself is to not beat myself up over those things I can’t get done before Christmas. I will be writing about some more holiday horror movies, posting each bloggy thing as soon as I finish it. I will be responding to the hundred-plus e-mails, online messages and the like sitting in my files waiting for those responses. My goal is to be caught up on this before the end of the year. Because, sometime early next year, I hope to be making a very special trip that I can’t tell anyone about at the moment. I will likely continue to be a shameless tease in 2019.

Like Pops in the Luke Cage series on Netflix, my mantra is “Always forward.” I thank you for coming on my journey with me.

Happy birthday to me. Happy holidays to you.

© 2018 Tony Isabella

Friday, December 21, 2018

HO-HO-HORROR: RARE EXPORTS: A CHRISTMAS TALE

For those readers wondering what the heck’s been going on with this week’s bloggy thing, I’m going all in on “naughty” this holiday season by writing about Christmas-themed horror movies. Starting on Monday, I’ve reviewed Slay Belles, Mrs. Claus, Christmas Blood and Two Front Teeth. It’s the most wonderful time of the year...if you like Krampus, serial killers, serial killers dressed like Santa Claus and vampiric elves.

For today’s cinematic Christmas cookie, we head to Finland and Rare Exports: A Christmas Tale. The 2010 fantasy horror movie followed two earlier short films about a company that ships a very unusual product around the world. This full-length movie  is the Rare Exports origin story.

Directed and written by Jalmari Helander, the film is rated “R” for some nudity and language. The version I watched had subtitles, so a viewer has to be able to read to see any bad language. As for the nudity, that’s something you’ll find out about in the “spoilers” section. Here’s the Internet Movie Database summary:

In the depths of the Korvatunturi mountains, 486 meters deep, lies the closest ever guarded secret of Christmas. The time has come to dig it up. This Christmas everyone will believe in Santa Claus.
 
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A British research team is drilling deep into a mountain. They’re looking for the ancient figure that shaped modern versions of Santa Claus. This is not a jolly kind of Santa. It’s a Santa that would punish naughty children by torturing and killing them. The stuffy executive in charge of the team actually hands out safety rules to the drillers that include no profanity or smoking or drinking and so on. They scoff until someone uses salty language.

Two boys have cut through a fence to watch the proceedings. This is naughty. Even more so when, because of the opening in the fence, a pack of wolves slaughter the nearly 500 reindeer that their village had been counting on to get through the winter. The younger of the two boys has been researching the ancient Santa and is alarmed that he and his friends will be punished by him. What of the more surprising elements of this movie for me was how little gore there is. You see the dead reindeer, but it’s not until late in the movie that we get an actual onscreen death.

By this time, things have gotten scary. Our young hero’s father has discovered what he thinks is a dead man who looks like Santa in a wolf trap. But the creature isn’t dead and he’s not Santa. He’s an elf who looks like the traditional Santa, one of dozens and maybe even hundreds of similar creatures who have been unleashed on the desolate setting of the movie.

Except for our young hero Pietari, all of the other children have been taken and trussed up in sacks. The Santa elves have made off with every radiator in the village. They’re using the radiators to thaw out their kaiju-size boss man. The kidnapped kids are there because it’s been eons since “Santa” has eaten.

Pietari, his father and two other men from the village are all that stand between Santa’s murderous elves and mankind. Wonderfully, it is the timid Pietari who overcomes his fear and devises a plan to save the captive children and end this menace. He’s even willing to sacrifice himself to accomplish this. That’s one tough little guy.

Using the trussed-up kids and a helicopter, Pietari and one of the villagers lure the Santa elves into an electrified enclosure. Back at the village, Pietari’s dad and his friend blow the frozen Giant Santa to pieces. This stops the Santa elves just as they are about to slaughter Pietari. With their boss dead, they don’t know what to do. They just stand around in the enclosure.

Pietari’s dad and his friends go into the export business to make up for their losses from the reindeer. They hose down and clean up the Santa elves. They teach them how to be proper Santas. Then they ship them all over the world.

Warning. The nudity comes during the hosing down scene and several Santa-penises are shown. This might have been the inspiration for the Bat-penis (aka Batawang) in the flaccid Batman: Damned comics published by DC Comics under their Black Label imprint. I just made that up now, but feel to spread it online. Some comics demand to be ridiculed as often as possible.

For me, the only disappointing element in the film is that we never got to see a kaiju-sized Santa Claus or any subsequent kaiju-style rampaging. Hmm...maybe it’s time for a new take on Miracle on 34th Street.

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I enjoyed Rare Exports: A Christmas Tale. Without being obvious about its humorous aspects, it is a funny film. I loved how Pietari [Onni Tommila] finds his inner hero and the relationship between him and his father [Jorma Tommila]. The film builds suspense and then explodes into the scary stuff and the action stuff. It has a satisfying conclusion.

Rare Exports runs 84 minutes. The Norwegian backgrounds are quite spectacular and the movie has developed a cult following. It scored 84% on the Rotten Tomatoes “Tomatometer” with an audience approval percentage of 71%. IMDb users gave it a 6.7 rating.

My final comment? This is a movie worth watching and one that you can probably enjoy every couple years or so.

I’ll be back tomorrow with another holiday horror movie. We’ve got three more days to go before Christmas and I’ll have a fearful film for each of those days. You’d best believe that murderous creatures are, indeed, stirring.

© 2018 Tony Isabella

           

Thursday, December 20, 2018

HO-HO-HORROR: TWO FRONT TEETH


My War on Christmas continues with another cinematic treat for you to wash down with a glass of all the presents you didn’t get from Santa even thought you were really good that year. It’s the full-size Dick Sprang Batmobile with that big freaking bat on its front that would have allowed me to terrorize the bullies who terrorized me as a kid. It’s the puppy my wife won’t give me this year. It’s the sight of the Dumpster President doing the perp walk as he’s led from the White House in cuffs. Yeah, it’s all the great stuff that you and I totally deserve that we’re not getting this Christmas. Or maybe any Christmas. Santa and Jesus need to get their holiday shit together!

Made for the princely sum of $200,000, today’s ho-ho-horror movie is Two Front Teeth (2006). Written by Jamie Nash, directed by Nash and co-conspirator David Thomas Sckrabulis, this comedy horror film stars Johnny Francis Wolf and Megan Pearson as a couple with more important things to worry about than their marital problems. Here is the Internet Movie Database summary:

It's the night before Christmas and Gabe Snow, a tabloid writer haunted by the Ghosts of Christmas past, is investigating a Yule Tide conspiracy. Gabe knows that Flight 1225 was brought down one foggy Christmas Eve, by a flying creature with a "glowing nose". Now, a blood-sucking Vampire - Santa Claus - has put Gabe on his list and unleashed the demonic fury of the North Pole. An army of zombie elves, who have no interest in Toys or pointy hats or dentistry, are about to turn Gabe's white Christmas blood red. Will Gabe find the true meaning of Christmas? Can he stake a heart that's two sizes too small? What will he find under his tree?
 
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If one didn’t know this was a low-budget film, the poorly-devised animated sequences that cover some of the movie’s major plot points would tip you off. Most notable is the event that drives the film. Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer is hit by a passenger plane, which then crashes killing all on board. The enigmatic Pete [Joseph L. Johnson] puts the fatally injured Rudolph down and takes the creature's glowing nose. This is something we learn later in the movie as we also learn the nose has amazing powers on its own. But let’s turn to our hero and heroine.

Wolf plays reporter Gabe Snow like a timid Clark Kent who is not just pretending he’s timid. As his wife and others characterize him, he's kind of a pussy. He has his own seriously screwed up issues with Christmas, which makes him working for something called The X-Mas Files a really odd career choice. Gabe’s passion for writing mostly bogus stories about Christmas mysteries has estranged him from his wife, who is currently cheating on him with a mall Santa.

Pearson is absolutely wonderful as Noel Snow, who is passionate and kinky and really bad-ass when it comes to fighting demonic elves. Yes, there are demonic elves. There are also warrior nuns who have taken a vow of silence and are known as the Silent Knights. This is that kind of insane and insanely hilarious movie.

The vampire Santa seeks Rudolph’s nose. Pete and the Snows have to prevent that from happening. Before the end of the movie, we learn the secrets of the evil Santa and those of two other immortal icons of holidays. I don’t want to reveal more because I don’t want to spoil this film  for you. I liked it a lot and think you will, too.   

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Running 85 minutes, Two Front Teeth does drag on occasion, but not for long. It shows its low budget frequently, but overcomes those financial limitations with a “can do” madness, comically horrific special events and the earnestness of its actors.

Pearson is especially fun, even though she has but five credits on her IMDb entry. She doesn’t seem to have appeared on screen since 2007, which is a shame. I think she could have been a great heroine for movies like this one.

Two Front Teeth is highly recommended by me. Heck, I think it will hold up over multiple views. As full of humbug as I am at this time of year, it bought me some silly joy. It goes on my nice list.

You’d better watch out, my beloved bloggy readers. Because I’ll be back tomorrow with another cinematic assault on Christmas.

© 2018 Tony Isabella

Wednesday, December 19, 2018

HO-HO-HORROR: CHRISTMAS BLOOD

Before we get started today, I want to wish each and every one of you “Happy Holidays!” Yes, that’s right. I wrote “Happy Holidays” instead of “Merry Christmas.” Because this is my continuing assault on everything you hold dear. Sure, rational people understand that both greetings convey good will, but I’m going after the irrational bozos among you. Because, this year, Santa isn’t just deciding if you are naughty or nice. He’s added third and fourth boxes to his checklist. Maybe you’re naughty. Maybe you’re nice. But, this time around, delusional and just plain stupid are also options.

This is your Not Drunk Uncle Tony coming at you with today’s review of yet another Christmas-themed horror movie. Who needs alcohol if you can be this obnoxious without the hard stuff?

Today’s cinematic “War on Christmas” salvo is Christmas Blood, the 2007 Norwegian horror movie written and directed by Reinert Kiil and starring actors you’ve never heard of playing characters named Etterforsker and Fengselsbetjent.   Here’s the lengthy summary of the movie from the Internet Movie Database:

Murderer gets caught after terrorizing and killing people during Christmas night for past 13 years in Norway. After being in solitary for almost 6 years, psychopath escapes couple days before Christmas night. Police tracks next target of the psychopath to be in small village in the northernmost part of Norway. Group of friends are having reunion in the same village and unexpectedly end up being in part of Santa's plan.

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Christmas Blood takes a long time of its 104-minute running time to get going. The movie opens with a flashback to the seeming death of the serial killer, who doesn’t die despite being shot a few times in the head at close range. Like when lying on the ground after he was shot a few other times. Unless I’m missing something because of the sparse dialogue/captioning, the detective who shot him is not informed that the killer survived. Apparently, it’s not revealed to the public either. I mean, what could go wrong with locking up this guy who won’t die and who attacks hospital workers on occasion and who eats nothing but porridge?

The flashback is shot very dark. At first, I thought it was to hide the gore. After a while, I decided the camera work just wasn’t very good. The film’s visibility comes and goes.

The movie also takes a lot from other movies. The killer is said to be a creature of pure evil much as Michael Myers is characterized in Halloween. He goes around in a Santa Claus costume swinging an axe like a number of other holiday horror movies. The police are mostly wildly incompetent.

Apparently, the killer is working through his own “naughty or nice” list of people who have committed crimes. During his incarceration, he fell behind on his schedule. Some of his intended victims died while he was locked up. One woman, who was on the naughty list and the mother of our final girl, killed herself. Don’t worry. The Santa from the block with the axe isn’t that picky. He’ll even kill folks not on his list.

The final girl’s college friends come to visit her in a town that seems deserted. Maybe her neighbors all decided to go someplace a bit warmer and less bloody for the holidays. Besides the friends, we get the fiancé of one of the other girls and two jerks who come to the house via Tinder.

Other key characters include the original detective who thought he had killed the hatchet-wielding Santa and the current detective on the case. They never really bond.

With the exception of the final girl and one of her friends, most of the other characters are nasty pieces of work. Some of them are intent on asking the final girl question after question about her mother’s suicide. The one black character has sex with the fiancé of one of the other girls and is an utter shit throughout the film. The fiancé can’t keep his Little Richard in his pants. Most of the other girls like to play scary pranks on the final girl. And those two Tinder jerks, one of them tries to rape one of the girls while she sleeps. The other...

Okay, the other nice character is a beautiful girl who can’t speak and who wears sexy holiday outfits and lingerie. She’s quite eager to do the whim-wham with the non-rapist Tinder guy until he calls her a retard. Smooth, man.

That’s the cast. The retired detective wants to kill Santa and the other one wants to take him in. At one point, the retired detective drugs the other one to get his gun. This gets the drugged detective killed.

Some of the deaths are well-staged. Most of the blood resembles the thin syrup is almost certainly is. The only murder that got to me was that of the girl who couldn’t speak.

The retired detective blasts away at the serial killer in the snowy main road of the empty town. He puts him down and shoots him in the head again. When he turns to check on the final girl and then turns back, Santa has taken a powder.

I’m not quite sure what happened in the final scenes. I think that the final girl drove away. I know the retired detective went back to the house where the still-living current detective is bleeding to death while wrapped in Christmas lights. There’s a gunshot, but I’m not sure if the retired detective mercy-killed the other cop or if he shot himself. The killer is last seen at a distance, standing in the middle of the street.

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Christmas Blood was originally released as Juleblod. It received a 4.3 user rating from the Internet Movie Database. I would rate it much lower, but a good part of my disdain can be attributed to the poor camera work, the sparse information given in the subtitles and the unsatisfying ending. Your murderous mileage may vary.

Come back tomorrow for more ho-ho-horror.

© 2018 Tony Isabella

Tuesday, December 18, 2018

TONY'S TIPS #287

This week in TONY'S TIPS at Tales of Wonder...Holiday gift suggestions like taking your loved one to see Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse, buying them the deluxe limited edition of Batman: The Completed Animated Series or buying them Disney Masters Vol. 4: Daan Jippes and Freddy Milton: Walt Disney’s Donald Duck: The Great Survival Test: http://blog.talesofwonder.com/?p=1323
                                                                               
                                                                            


HO-HO-HORROR: MRS. CLAUS

My War on Christmas continues with yet another holiday-theme horror movie. This time, it’s Mrs. Claus [2018]. Directed and written by Troy Escamilla and starring Brinke Stevens, this slasher flick is a solid B production with a lot going for it. Here’s the summary from the Internet Movie Database: 
 
A group of college students attending a Christmas party at a sorority house that has a sinister past are stalked by a bloodthirsty killer disguised as Mrs. Claus.

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Ten years ago, a sorority member’s vicious hazing of a new member let to that new member killing the girl and then hanging herself. Today, the sister of the murdered sorority member has joined that same sorority and is living across the hall from the room in which her sister was murdered. Bad choices, anyone?

On the eve of the sorority’s Christmas party, Angela [Mel Heflin] gets an e-mail from a “Mrs. Claus” promising vengeance on her and the sorority. We’ll later learn Mrs. Werner, mother [Helene Udy] of the girl who hanged herself, has harassed Angela and her family on occasion. There had been at least one restraining order against her in the past, though Angela considers her mostly harmless. In what I thought was a nice touch, after the first girl is brutally killed this time around and before we “meet” Mrs. Werner, the movie gives us other suspects. I named four possibilities, though, one by one, three of those were eliminated. Seriously eliminated. The fourth, a Santa collecting donations for sick children, appeared once and was never seen again.

Another thing I liked about this slasher film is that, outside of Angela’s late sister and Mrs. Werner, the college students lining up to die are all fairly likeable. They are far from perfect, but they are not bad kids at all. So, when they are murdered, there is a certain sadness.

Campus cop Julie Cornell [Brinke Stevens] investigates the seeming disappearance of the first new victim. The killer manages to hide all the bodies and clean up the crime scenes, so the college kids don’t really know what’s going on until it’s too late. This might be a typical slasher film, but, for the most part, it’s smart about the basics.

Another nice touch. For the most part, the victims are dispatched with holiday-themed items. Not as well done are the copious amounts of blood that flow from wounds like water from a garden hose. That the camera dwells on the flow makes for some tedious post-slaying scenes. Whatever the “blood” was made of, it does look delicious.

You know the way movies like this go. One by one, the college kids are killed. Angela, her boyfriend Kyle [Billy Brannigan] and campus cop Cornell are the only ones left when the killer is revealed to be the last remaining suspect. Except...

Mrs. Santa pulls off a twist I didn’t see coming and follows that with another twist I didn’t see coming. The battle between Angela and the twist I didn’t see coming is exciting. However, that final battle is marred by a nonsensical “one year later” scene. I mean, I have my theory as to the what and why of that scene, but it still made for a lousy ending to the movie.

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I enjoyed Mrs. Claus, which was originally titled Stirring. I was not impressed by the look of the masked killer or the lack of any real reason, beyond the e-mail near the start of the movie, for calling said killer “Mrs. Claus”.

I probably don’t have to mention how much I absolutely adore Brinke Stevens and her lovely Bettie Page bangs. Should I ever get myself into the movie-making business, I’d love to work with her.

Mrs. Claus runs a tight 86 minutes. The IMDb gives it a user rating of 4.2, which I think is on the low side. It’s a perfectly spiffy Christmas slasher film. It’s not a classic, but I don’t regret the time I spent watching or writing about it.

Come back tomorrow for more ho-ho-horror.

© 2018 Tony Isabella