Monday, March 15, 2021

MUSTACHE DYSPHORIA

 

The above is how I normally look, at least on a good day. I won’t be showing you a picture of how I look today because, in a moment of insanity, I made myself hideous beyond belief.

I shaved off what one of my online friends has called my “iconic” mustache. I have had that mustache since sometime in the 1970s. I may or may not have shaved it off once in the 1980s, but, befuddled as I clearly am, I don’t recall doing that.

This was not remotely a good decision. My son shouted in horror on realizing what I had done, albeit after he’d been at our house for two hours without noticing it. My daughter requested I wear a mask until it grows back. She's not wrong.

My saintly wife dealt me the most serious mental blow when she said I now looked like a relative who did time in a federal prison on a felony conviction. That gave me a very literal nightmare of being arrested by the FBI. Who thought I was him. It also dashed my last  remaining hope that I had been kidnapped from a wealthy family as an infant and would someday inherit enough money to buy DC Comics.

I would like to keep cracking jokes about this, but, unfortunately, my sudden impulse to de-mustache is indicative of what are sadly larger mental health problems. We’re talking the depression that’s plagued me my entire life, as well as a self-esteem that ping-pongs from low to high and right back again. When you add the frustration of dealing with the pandemic and my under-employment in the comics industry I love and top it off with the sheer madness of those on the political right...I’m a right mess, I am.

Don’t get me wrong. I’m working my way through these problems and expect to come out in a better place. In the meantime, I’ve got to monitor myself constantly so that I don’t make other bad decisions that might have greater consequences than having to put a bag over my head when I’m around people. I need to watch what I eat. I need to exercise more. I need to be more careful with my money. I need to be more patient with all those fucking idiots who vex me and my country on a...okay, I’ll dial it back now.

People, even dearest friends, have asked me to post a photo of my terrifying countenance. This is something I will not do. Think of the children.

Until that day when I can again show my face, it’s nice to have a friend like Jo Duffy, who compared my stache to those worn by Walt Simonson and Archie Goodwin. It’s likely the only time my name will be in the same sentence with such true comics legends, but I’m not proud. I’ll take it.

I’ll be back soon with more stuff.

© 2021 Tony Isabella

8 comments:

  1. I once shaved the hair off my face, my wife told me that I looked like a dangerous insane criminal who escaped a mental institution. People in my family, the younger ones such as my niece and nephews who had never seen me without facial hair asked me to please never do that again. Thanks for sharing Tony

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  2. You have my sympathies. I've had my mustache since 1971 at age 17. I shaved it off once back around 1984. Never again! I regrew it immediately.

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  3. I've had a full beard for about 5 years now after taking it off for several years when I couldn't stand how gray it was becoming. Now it's full-on white and I like it. The mustache preceded the beard by about another 5 years.
    If you want to see what you might look like with all the facial hair, I would suggest checking out Drew Carey on The Price Is Right these days. It's unexpected, but looks good on him.

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  4. Hang in there, Chief. Your fans depend on you for bountiful bloggy entries and your usual wit! (no pressure of course) I do remember you've been saying for some time you were gonna add a 'tip' bar on the blog, similar to what Mark Evanier uses. I think many of your regular readers would be happy to do this and give you a little extra spending money for mustache wax! Hope you feel better Sir.

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  5. British radio presenter the late, great John Peel sported a beard for most of his adult life. One day he decided to see what he looked like under the beard, shaved it off, looked in the mirror, saw his mother looking back at him, and promptly grew the beard back.

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  6. (not sure if my last comment didnt go through due to blogger so I am repeating what i just said, i understand if it did go through and u have to discard this comment!)

    Tony i think what u should do is consider a monthly Patreon. after all, you create content, are an established creator and have fans all over the world... you are a proven talent with an unimpeachable success rate of inspirational and marketable characters and also well regarded as a writer and editor.. what i would consider is doing an online, one page strip with an up and coming Ohio based artist and have it be fan-funded.. no sense waiting on the publishers who dont know their arse from a hole in the ground, excuse my language.. there's so many tony isabella stories waiting to be told, the least we can do is try to fund them! my sympathy regarding the depression, sir.

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  7. Will you do one of these deep dive "Shoot" Interviews on Comic Book Historians?? I stumbled upon their 7 hour interview with Shooter today and hope they continue in the vein of long comprehensive interviews with creators whose careers stretch back into the 1970s. Shooter described how he first got to Marvel and how wild and free it sounded and I loved it! He described a paper mache Thor and said you were living under your desk waiting for your new apartment lol! I wish there was a place to work today for creative sorts with that bohemian spirit! Anyway I hope you get interviewed, have a great weekend!!!

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  8. So the Shooter interview was fiction, then? Because that guy knows nothing about me and has lied about things that involved me on such a regular basis he could have been a Trump press secretary. He lies about other things as well. But, to answer your question, probably not. Unless it was conducted by a comics historian whose work I respect.

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