Circumstances delayed this third and final entry in my coverage of Sharknado Week 2017. But here I am to sink my teeth into the last two movies that aired on the Syfy channel. Let’s get right to them.
Empire of the Sharks aired on Saturday, August 5. Made by the fine folks at the Asylum, it had a lot going for it. Set in a future era where global warming has turned most of Earth’s surface into ocean, it has a sort of “Mad Max on the high seas” vibe going for it. However, despite a claim by the Internet Movie Database, it’s not a sequel to last year’s Planet of the Sharks. It’s similar in tone, but both bigger and more deliciously cheesy in scope.
It was directed by Mark Atkins, who directed over two dozen other movies, including Planet of the Sharks, 2012's fun Sand Sharks and the goofy-but-still-fun Snakes on a Train [2006]. He also wrote the movie. I like his work enough that I plan to check out other Atkins works in the near future.
Empire stars John Savage as the ocean dictator Ian Fien, Jonathan Pienaar as Mason Scrim, Fien’s scenery-chewing second-in-command, and several earnest performers as the movie’s hero, heroine, and a rag-tag bunch of outsiders who band together uneasily to rescue the heroine and prevent Fien/Scrim from wiping out her people. There’s a little “Magnificient Seven” in this one as well.
The IMDb summery gives away much of the plot, so I’ll activate our usual warning right now...
SPOILERS AHEAD
SPOILERS AHEAD
SPOILERS AHEAD
SPOILERS AHEAD
SPOILERS AHEAD
SPOILERS AHEAD
On a future earth where 98% of the surface is underwater, a Warlord who controls an army of sharks meets his match when he captures the daughter of a mysterious shark caller.
Fien and Scrim demand tribute from the floating villages they rule in exchange for the fresh water only they can provide. The villains get this water through a tedious process that demands the labor of slaves. When a village fails to provide sufficient tribute, Scrim takes people instead. The captives literally slave until they drop and are then fed to the sharks the bad guys control.
It’s not a complicated plot. The hero is working on a way for his village to produce its own fresh water. The heroine, who he loves, is a pacifist whose power to control sharks naturally is triggered during her captivity. The hero and a friend recruit their rag-tag commandos. Some will live, some will die, and it all boils down to a fairly epic battle between Fien’s man-made control of the sharks and the heroine’s natural ability.
Thanks to the IMDb summery above you know how it ends.
SPOILERS OVER
SPOILERS OVER
SPOILERS OVER
SPOILERS OVER
SPOILERS OVER
SPOILERS OVER
Empire of the Sharks is a solid “B” action thriller. The heroes are sufficiently heroic if not always competent. The villains are very hiss-able. There is considerable shark fu and the special effects are up to it. Of the movies that led up to the Sharknado 5: Global Swarming finale, I’d rank it a close third behind the excellent Mississippi River Sharks and the pretty good Toxic Shark. I would watch this movie again.
Sharknado 5: Global Swarming had me giddy with expectation - I love the franchise - and a wee bit pensive because it would be the first movie in the series not written by Thunder Levin. Instead, the film was written by Scotty Mullen. I’ve not seen any of Mullen’s other six films, but he has many credits as a casting director and a few as an actor. So, as with many of the fine folks who work with the Asylum, he’s well-rounded. Based on this Sharknado screenplay, I’m going to be checking out his other work.
Returning as director is the wonderfully mad Anthony C. Ferrante, along with the fighting Fin Shepard family. Here’s the quick IMDb summary, corrected for content and grammar:
With much of America in ruins and the rest of the world bracing for a global sharknado, Fin and his family must travel around the world to stop the toothy storms.
SPOILERS AHEAD
SPOILERS AHEAD
SPOILERS AHEAD
SPOILERS AHEAD
SPOILERS AHEAD
SPOILERS AHEAD
This may be the silliest Sharknado movie of them all, but, except for some incredibly shocking surprises, I never stopped smiling and even laughing out loud as I watched. It’s a family saga, a series of hilarious sketches and cameos and an international thriller all rolled into one.
Nova [played by Cassandra Scerbo] has joined a secret sisterhood of sharknado fighters. They have learned that such storms happened in the distant past and that mankind defeated them. In a Indiana Jones riff, she and Fin [Ian Ziering] discover one of the hiding places of a powerful gem and, in doing so, accidentally trigger the most deadly sharknado of all. It can create portals that allow it to go all over the world.
With android/robot wife April [Tara Reid] and their son Gil [Billy Barratt] fight against this unstoppable menace. They’re assisted by Nova’s sisterhood and a very Q-like British scientist [Clay Aiken, if you can believe it]. In an inspired performance, Chris Kattan is the Prime Minister of England. There are lots of other great cameos as well, but, with one exception, I’m going to let you experience them on your own. That one exception is Fabio as the Pope. That’s right. Fabio. As. The. Pope. The brilliance of that casting had me laughing so hard I cried a little bit.
The jumping from locale to locale and the sketch nature of the film throws the actors somewhat. I still loved Ziering and Reid in this movie, but they were a little off their game. I have no doubt they will be back on the mark for the next movie.
The movie has a very depressing ending. Except...just when you’re convinced you’ve seen the last Sharknado, which, in itself, would be a crime against nature in my book...that’s when you get another inspired development that will lead into Sharknado 6. I’m excited, so much so that I’ve already sent suggested titles to my friends at the Asylum.
Sharknado Week 2018 can’t come soon enough for me.
SPOILERS OVER
SPOILERS OVER
SPOILERS OVER
SPOILERS OVER
SPOILERS OVER
SPOILERS OVER
If you’ve been keeping track of the score, Sharknado Week 2017 ends on a score of 4-2. While I’d like to see some variety next year - it’s been a while since Syfy has graced us with any giant reptiles or other creatures - this week of premieres is my favorite annual television event. Keep them coming!
In other news...
My life continues to be crazy busy and crazy exciting. I’ve got so much to write and write about. Obviously, with the news of both the Black Lightning TV series and a new written-by-me Black Lightning mini-series, I’m getting asked all sorts of questions about these things. I’ll do my best to answer them - or, to be accurate, answer those I can answer without violating my agreements with DC Comics - in a timely fashion. You can expect a lot of Black Lightning stuff in this blog in the weeks and months to come.
There’s also a lot of other things I want to write about here and that you have asked me to write about here. I’ll get to it all as soon as possible. This blog means a lot to me and your enthusiasm for it means even more. We’re gonna have a lot of fun here.
I’ll be back tomorrow with more stuff.
© 2017 Tony Isabella
Empire of the Sharks aired on Saturday, August 5. Made by the fine folks at the Asylum, it had a lot going for it. Set in a future era where global warming has turned most of Earth’s surface into ocean, it has a sort of “Mad Max on the high seas” vibe going for it. However, despite a claim by the Internet Movie Database, it’s not a sequel to last year’s Planet of the Sharks. It’s similar in tone, but both bigger and more deliciously cheesy in scope.
It was directed by Mark Atkins, who directed over two dozen other movies, including Planet of the Sharks, 2012's fun Sand Sharks and the goofy-but-still-fun Snakes on a Train [2006]. He also wrote the movie. I like his work enough that I plan to check out other Atkins works in the near future.
Empire stars John Savage as the ocean dictator Ian Fien, Jonathan Pienaar as Mason Scrim, Fien’s scenery-chewing second-in-command, and several earnest performers as the movie’s hero, heroine, and a rag-tag bunch of outsiders who band together uneasily to rescue the heroine and prevent Fien/Scrim from wiping out her people. There’s a little “Magnificient Seven” in this one as well.
The IMDb summery gives away much of the plot, so I’ll activate our usual warning right now...
SPOILERS AHEAD
SPOILERS AHEAD
SPOILERS AHEAD
SPOILERS AHEAD
SPOILERS AHEAD
SPOILERS AHEAD
On a future earth where 98% of the surface is underwater, a Warlord who controls an army of sharks meets his match when he captures the daughter of a mysterious shark caller.
Fien and Scrim demand tribute from the floating villages they rule in exchange for the fresh water only they can provide. The villains get this water through a tedious process that demands the labor of slaves. When a village fails to provide sufficient tribute, Scrim takes people instead. The captives literally slave until they drop and are then fed to the sharks the bad guys control.
It’s not a complicated plot. The hero is working on a way for his village to produce its own fresh water. The heroine, who he loves, is a pacifist whose power to control sharks naturally is triggered during her captivity. The hero and a friend recruit their rag-tag commandos. Some will live, some will die, and it all boils down to a fairly epic battle between Fien’s man-made control of the sharks and the heroine’s natural ability.
Thanks to the IMDb summery above you know how it ends.
SPOILERS OVER
SPOILERS OVER
SPOILERS OVER
SPOILERS OVER
SPOILERS OVER
SPOILERS OVER
Empire of the Sharks is a solid “B” action thriller. The heroes are sufficiently heroic if not always competent. The villains are very hiss-able. There is considerable shark fu and the special effects are up to it. Of the movies that led up to the Sharknado 5: Global Swarming finale, I’d rank it a close third behind the excellent Mississippi River Sharks and the pretty good Toxic Shark. I would watch this movie again.
Sharknado 5: Global Swarming had me giddy with expectation - I love the franchise - and a wee bit pensive because it would be the first movie in the series not written by Thunder Levin. Instead, the film was written by Scotty Mullen. I’ve not seen any of Mullen’s other six films, but he has many credits as a casting director and a few as an actor. So, as with many of the fine folks who work with the Asylum, he’s well-rounded. Based on this Sharknado screenplay, I’m going to be checking out his other work.
Returning as director is the wonderfully mad Anthony C. Ferrante, along with the fighting Fin Shepard family. Here’s the quick IMDb summary, corrected for content and grammar:
With much of America in ruins and the rest of the world bracing for a global sharknado, Fin and his family must travel around the world to stop the toothy storms.
SPOILERS AHEAD
SPOILERS AHEAD
SPOILERS AHEAD
SPOILERS AHEAD
SPOILERS AHEAD
SPOILERS AHEAD
This may be the silliest Sharknado movie of them all, but, except for some incredibly shocking surprises, I never stopped smiling and even laughing out loud as I watched. It’s a family saga, a series of hilarious sketches and cameos and an international thriller all rolled into one.
Nova [played by Cassandra Scerbo] has joined a secret sisterhood of sharknado fighters. They have learned that such storms happened in the distant past and that mankind defeated them. In a Indiana Jones riff, she and Fin [Ian Ziering] discover one of the hiding places of a powerful gem and, in doing so, accidentally trigger the most deadly sharknado of all. It can create portals that allow it to go all over the world.
With android/robot wife April [Tara Reid] and their son Gil [Billy Barratt] fight against this unstoppable menace. They’re assisted by Nova’s sisterhood and a very Q-like British scientist [Clay Aiken, if you can believe it]. In an inspired performance, Chris Kattan is the Prime Minister of England. There are lots of other great cameos as well, but, with one exception, I’m going to let you experience them on your own. That one exception is Fabio as the Pope. That’s right. Fabio. As. The. Pope. The brilliance of that casting had me laughing so hard I cried a little bit.
The jumping from locale to locale and the sketch nature of the film throws the actors somewhat. I still loved Ziering and Reid in this movie, but they were a little off their game. I have no doubt they will be back on the mark for the next movie.
The movie has a very depressing ending. Except...just when you’re convinced you’ve seen the last Sharknado, which, in itself, would be a crime against nature in my book...that’s when you get another inspired development that will lead into Sharknado 6. I’m excited, so much so that I’ve already sent suggested titles to my friends at the Asylum.
Sharknado Week 2018 can’t come soon enough for me.
SPOILERS OVER
SPOILERS OVER
SPOILERS OVER
SPOILERS OVER
SPOILERS OVER
SPOILERS OVER
If you’ve been keeping track of the score, Sharknado Week 2017 ends on a score of 4-2. While I’d like to see some variety next year - it’s been a while since Syfy has graced us with any giant reptiles or other creatures - this week of premieres is my favorite annual television event. Keep them coming!
In other news...
My life continues to be crazy busy and crazy exciting. I’ve got so much to write and write about. Obviously, with the news of both the Black Lightning TV series and a new written-by-me Black Lightning mini-series, I’m getting asked all sorts of questions about these things. I’ll do my best to answer them - or, to be accurate, answer those I can answer without violating my agreements with DC Comics - in a timely fashion. You can expect a lot of Black Lightning stuff in this blog in the weeks and months to come.
There’s also a lot of other things I want to write about here and that you have asked me to write about here. I’ll get to it all as soon as possible. This blog means a lot to me and your enthusiasm for it means even more. We’re gonna have a lot of fun here.
I’ll be back tomorrow with more stuff.
© 2017 Tony Isabella
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