Tuesday, October 27, 2015

SILENT VENOM

Right off the bat, Silent Venom (2009) gets a point for not being titled Snakes on a Sub. Of course, it loses a point for the final scene of the movie. In between, this Fred Olen Ray film was solid B-movie fun. I’d only seen a few minutes of it previously, so most of it was new to me.

Luke Perry stars as Lt. Commander James O'Neill, who’s in a bit of hot water for refusing to endanger his crew by ignoring an order to go beyond a new sub’s limits. He has turned in his retirement, but, to earn a honorable discharge and preserve his benefits, must take one more demeaning job: deliver a sub-turned-museum-turned-sub to a foreign buyer. His crew are mostly untested recruits. The mission turns real serious quickly.

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Perry is ordered to divert the submarine to pick up a scientist, her assistant and their classified work. The scientist is studying the effects of Chinese nuclear tests on the deadly snakes who live there. The island is in the path of planned Chinese navy maneuvers and our government doesn’t want the Chinese to get that research. Perry’s sub has three days to get to the island before the Chinese fleet and get out with the scientists.

Before the sub arrives, we see a snake big enough to swallow a man in two gulps. Which it does. If you’ve seen any of the giant snake movies on the Sci-Fi Channel, you’ve seen this CGI snake. It may be one of my favorite CGI actors. The rest of the snakes aren’t near as big, but still pretty damn scary. Especially slithering around a submarine. But I’m getting ahead of myself.

Doc Andrea [Krista Allen] tells her assistant Jake [Louis Mandylor] to pack just two of the snakes, one male and one female. Except for the two biggest and most aggressive snakes, which he is ordered to kill, he’s supposed to release the rest into the wild. But Jake is one greedy son of a bitch and he sneaks all of the snakes onto the sub.
 
The submarine has another problem. The Chinese Navy has started its maneuvers two days early. Perry and his largely untested crew must move deep under the Chinese fleet, a job complicated when a curious sailor opens one of the snake boxes.

Outside of the curious sailor, Perry and his crew are good men who mostly control their panic. They are very believable, as is Allen’s courageous scientist. The only weak performance in the film comes from Mandylor, who plays to every craven, greedy shifty stereotype imaginable.

Besides Mandylor, my only real problem with Silent Venom is that it runs about ten minutes too long. After the snakes are exterminated and the sub is safe, Perry goes into his room and is almost bitten by one last snake. He kills it and tosses it into the hall, which gets a smile from his second-in-command. That should have been the last scene in the movie.

Instead, we get Perry and his second visiting Allen in the hospital where she is recovering from a snake bite...and then we get Perry saying his goodbye to his former commander...and then we get Perry boarding a helicopter and a last scene almost identical to the last scene of Snakes on a Plane. That’s right. We see a container like the one the curious sailor opened on the sub being loaded on to the chopper. Sigh.

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Silent Venom is an entertaining B movie. Good acting, scary snakes, solid story. I don’t think I’d watch it a second time, but I’m glad I got to see the entire film this time around.

I’ll be back soon with more stuff.

© 2015 Tony Isabella

2 comments:

  1. Actually, the correct edited quote was, "I want these monkey loving snakes off my Monday to Friday plane." I remember it well, because the "Monday to Friday" bit seemed really, REALLY forced.

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  2. I remembered the "correct" edited quote. You are incorrect in assuming I didn't remember it. I didn't like the "correct" version. So I used my own version.

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