Sunday, November 3, 2013


The First Church of Godzilla rejoices this day, the anniversary of when our Lord and Master was first revealed unto us in 1954.  The Great Scaly One has been our protector and teacher, blessing us with his fiery atomic love.  It can be a tough love - you know, that whole folly of man thing - but it is a just tough love.  He is accepting of all, regardless of their faith, their race, their gender, their sexual orientation and even their political orientation.  For, as it has been written, Republicans and Democrats, Christians and Muslims, black and white, men and women, gay and straight, they all scream the same under the mighty feet of the Great Scaly One.

Today, in honor of Godzilla, we have decorated our Godzilla tree with sacred pieces of rubble from his many lessons to mankind.  We have built models of landmarks from around the world to crush beneath our own relatively puny feet.  We will join with the priestesses of Mothra to sing the praises of the Great Scaly One.  We will dine on well-cooked meats and vegetables.  Then, in the first hours of twilight, when small children come to our door and growl menacingly, we will give them candy and directions to the nearest kaiju shelter. 

Please join us in this most happiest of celebrations.

1 comment:

  1. ROTFLMAO!!!! That was funny! Maybe that would make a good story for MAD or one of the other humor mags still out there, Tony.